Sweet Holy Honey (BBW)

I'm Grown Now

Alicia

Maurice burst into the studio and I was instantly embarrassed. He was late and he was supposed to be representing me. Then he flashed that smile as he came over to me apologizing about oversleeping and I overlooked it.

"I'm sorry baby for real," Maurice came over to me, kissing me on the cheek. "My alarm didn't go off and I didn't charge my phone or my watch." He said.

"How convenient." Shaunice said from the couch on the side. I shot her a look and she raised her eyebrow and twisted her lips. Maurice ignored her.

"Don't worry about her, I'll deal with her later. I'm sorry for real. Go show them what I already know about you." He kissed my cheek again. "Go blow them away." He flashed that smile that melted my heart as he gazed into my eyes.

I could see how proud he was to be with me and I felt the confidence build within myself. He saw hope in me when I didn't and I appreciated that.

"Thank you Maurice, I needed that. We'll talk later, okay?" I asked.

"Promise." He planted a kiss on my lips and I went off to the booth.

Once inside, I felt my nerves creeping up across my shoulders, down my arms and spine at the same time. My breathing altered and I felt as if I was going to panic. This was real and this was happening. The excitement was overwhelming. I had to keep it together and grabbed the headset and placed it over my ears. It drowned out the white noise already in the booth now it was just a matter of dealing with the noise inside my head.

I looked over and saw Maurice talking forcibly towards Shaunice and her pointing back at him as if she was yelling. I zoned in trying to read her lips but she was talking too fast; however I did get a chance to catch 'you a fucking liar' as she rolled her neck and made sure he understood every single word.

I looked at the both of them acting like straight asses in front of the entire management of CFE. I leaned against the window and Shaunice looked my way. I was panicking and doubt was settling in quickly. Imposter syndrome was knocking at the door as I started thinking about removing my headset.

Shaunice saw my face and paid no attention to Maurice or anyone else, just me. She knew I needed her and she heard my screams before I opened my mouth. I closed my eyes trying to control my anxiety and the voices in my head screaming, 'they weren't going to like how I sound'. The imposter was banging at the door loud as I started to count in my head trying to drown it out and then I heard Shaunice, loud and clear.

"Watch out world, I'm grown now." She sang directly into my headset; her voice cracking a bit, but soft and sweet. She was singing directly to me, our favorite song from Chloe and Halle from the 'Grown-ish' television show. I smiled and opened my eyes to see Shaunice bending down at the microphone outside the booth. "It's about to go down." She smiled and tilted her head. I nodded and joined her.

"My heart beatin' so loud," I sang and added a few personal ripples that made Siedah and Monica sit up at the edge of the couch. Franklin walked over to Marcus. "Mama, look, I'm grown now." We sang together and our voices blended together perfectly. She was my rock and she knew how to bring me back. "I'm Grown!" I ad-libbed at the end. And we finished.

"Girl, you betta stop playing with me!" Monica said from the background, standing up fanning herself.

"Are you okay, now?" Shaunice asked.

"Yeah girl, I'm good. Thank you."

"You know I got you." She said and she left the microphone. She looked back and I mouthed 'I love you boo' and she held up the Korean finger heart with both hands. I chuckled along with her as she sat down. We had a love for K-dramas and she knew I would know exactly what she meant.