Charred //ZUTARA

Chapter 43 - ''He is everything.''

Toph's taken in all the information Katara provided her with. Skipping on the details such as their intercourse, the secrets they've revealed to each other and private conversations, she pretty much explained everything about Zuko. How they reconnected, how good it felt to finally have someone to talk to, how he made her feel like a woman again. 

There was just one issue that the earthbender had. One question that she's asked. 

''What about Aang?''

As she told her story, Katara kept smiling at all the memories. All the things she went through with the Fire Lord in such little time. Well, the grin quickly disappeared from her face. 

''I never wanted to hurt him,'' she admitted. ''I truly loved him for years. I've waited for him for so long, I think I lost myself in it. When he's asked me to be his... I didn't know what to do. I know he loves me. In his own way. So I couldn't just say no. And trust me, I really tried not to get close to Zuko after... But I couldn't- I couldn't stay away.''

The tears shone in her eyes as the guilt overflowed her. It was something she carried within her from that night in the garden. She never spoke about this before; even with Zuko because she simply didn't need it. He knew everything anyway.

Toph didn't say anything to that. Her features were unreadable and Katara started thumping her foot on the ground. Her arms wrapped around her knees, hugging her legs closely. 

They remained like this for a while; both women lost in their own thoughts as the ugly truth was revealed. The waterbender worried that her friend would stay like this. Not speaking a word to her for what she's done to the Avatar. For how long she kept it hidden.

She automatically started wondering what she'd do if Toph went to Aang now. If she's told him about this, there would be no coming back. Katara would have to accept her fate and tell the truth. Not to mention she'd have to find a way to protect Zuko. It would be difficult to do so if the Master of Four Elements would choose to fight him. 

Agni, what a long day that was. 

''I'm not the best person to talk to about this,'' Toph told her. The waterbender surveyed the woman next to her with her brows high up. She sighed heavily. ''I don't know what to tell you. It's obvious that what you've done is wrong. But Spirits damn me if I wouldn't do the same thing.''

Katara observed the way her features sharpened. How mature she looked now... So unlike the child that she used to be years ago when they've met. 

So serious, so vulnerable and exhausted. 

''I am not looking for forgiveness,'' the healer said truthfully. There would be no point in it since she did not regret a thing when it came to the Fire Lord. Also, she doubted that anyone would ever grant her that. ''I simply wish to lead a life that's worth living.''

Toph nodded slowly. ''Yes,'' her gaze softened. ''Yes.''

It seemed like the earthbender wanted to add something else. Her jaw tightened but she kept her mouth shut. 

Hearing the footsteps, both of them turned. Sokka came out of the cave, his face grim and pale. He approached them and Katara knew that the news he was bearing were not of joyful nature. 

Standing up, the waterbender felt her knees weaken. 

''It worked,'' he declared. He gaped at his sister, then his friend. ''She told us she's been here ever since she's left the Palace. Watching over the remaining Air Nomads.''

''She knew, then,'' Katara whispered hopelessly. She was aware of it and never told Zuko. One thing didn't make sense though. ''Ozai had many loyalists. Allies. Armies that answered to him. I bet there would be many more powerful benders that would have been willing to do that for him. Why Mai?''