BROKEN PIECES OF HIM.

CHAPTER 6 | What Are You Doing?

KWAME.

My brother Majid walks inside my bedroom, closes the door and then sits down. I honestly have no energy for what he wants to talk about and I don't even know what he wants to say but I'm in his house so I have to sit down and listen to what he has to say.
'' You have been quiet since you came back from the meeting our uncle had with you. What was it about?''
'' I met with Kader''
'' No shit, what did he want?'' I look at him. '' Oh that.''

'' Yes, he said he knows that he owes me but he wants me to stay away from his daughter. I am part of the past that hurt her and she can't heal if she's with me because I'll be reminding her of the things she wants to forget.''
'' That's not fair, you didn't know what she was going through the time you two met but I understand him in a way. There will always be that thing about how you two met when someone asks you.''

'' It's always going to be there no matter how hard he wants to erase it. He can't Hudson.''
'' I know, are you really going to let her go and we'll just pretend that you have amnesia?''
'' I'm not pretending, I have amnesia''
'' You can lie to Amara and her father but not us, the people who know you. What are you doing little brother?''

'' I'm not doing anything. I have amnesia Hudson, what do you want from me?''
'' Tell the fucken truth. You know that I know you more than your parents or siblings and friends. I'm the deputy parent and you always come to me whenever you have problems or need advice. I know when you are hiding things from me, I know when you lie and I definitely know when you're hurting and right now you are. Talk to me, don't shut me out Kwame. Why are you lying?''

Sometimes I forget that he reads people, studies them and gets inside their heads. He is someone I know I can always count on no matter how much I fxcked up. He's that big brother to me and always smelled my bullshit from afar. That is why I never lie to him or hide things because he is going to find out, one way or another. I should have known from the looks he was giving me that he is suspecting something.

I exhale deeply then get up. '' The day I showed her pictures of her father and siblings, the look on her face was heartbreaking. I could see the yearning and longing to be part of that. When we told her about her mother, the hurt and the happiness on her face was priceless. I wished I was there to see her when she saw her mother for the first time but I wasn't because I needed to make sure that she is reunited with her family.

I want her to have what we have, Hudson, A family. I want her to experience what it's like to have loving parents and siblings. Feel their love, grow under their guidance, rules and protection and form strong bonds with them so she will have a sense of belonging. Have all these beautiful memories that she never had. I want her to be happy to know that, she has people who love her more than anything in this world and they would do anything and give up anything to make sure that they are loved.''

'' Kwame....''
'' I love Amara and I forever will be but now, she needs her family, her family needs her and I want to give her that without me being a destruction. If i didn't pretend to have amnesia, Amara would be here with me now and not where she should be''
'' So you're just going to love her from afar?''
'' Yes, that's all I can do now''
'' That's going to hurt you, It is hurting you now Kwame.''

'' This is better than me breaking her heart by ending things with her. It's better she, they all believe that I have amnesia than have Kader on my back for breaking his daughter's heart. Sometimes in life Hudson, you have to give up something you love and that is very important to you to give the person you love what they truly need. She needs this more than she needs me''
'' I understand you and you are right but that's sad man, It's not fair''
'' Life is not fair. If I was a selfish prick and wanted to stick it to Kader, I would have made sure that Amara doesn't know about them and they never find out about her.''