Bl Thai

Missing you

Main: Vegas

Vegas sighs, looking at the sky. He is sitting on his balcony, his legs close to his chest and arms on it. His face pressed to it.

It's 2 am in the morning, but he can't sleep. Not today. Not this day of every year. This day, he felt his heart being taken out and ripped to pieces and put back inside his chest. He can't breathe properly, too tired to even get up.

Macau often ask him what is happening to him that day, but he can't say. He will cry if he started talking. And he doesn't want to be weak infront of his nong. He isn't strong nor weak. Only one person knows that. That person knows him too well, but..

Vegas sighs, lying on the floor. A star is shining brightly, so warm, that the tears he was holding started to fall freely. A bracelet is clenched tightly in his arms, his finger bruising. Still he can't care about that.

"I miss you. I miss you so much"

Vegas come to the major compound. He have a meeting that day. His eyes are puffy and sad. He used to hide them well before, but today he doesn't have the energy for that. Everyone is looking at him like an alien. He isn't dressed in his usual, not having any interest to do it.

Vegas barely listen to whatever Korn said. Korn looked at him, his eyes a little concerned before it goes away. "Vegas"

Vegas look at him, others little shocked of how pained they are. "Yes Uncle?"

"You okay? Your attention is not here"

Vegas look down at his hand. "Sorry Uncle. I'm... I'm tired"

"Okay, take rest"

Vegas nodded, rushing out. He rush to the nearby toilet, emptying his stomach. Vegas cried in disgust.

"Come back to me. Your senior need you"

Kinn sighs. He doesn't know what is going on with his cousin. He is acting weird even making him worried. He found Vegas looking outside the window, at the sky. At a safe distance Nop, his head bodyguard is looking at him.

"Nop"

Kinn called. Nop bowed respectfully. "What's wrong with him?" He pointed at his cousin.

Nop sighs. "He is missing his dead lover."

"Lover?"

"Hm" he nodded. "Khun Vegas was constantly followed by a junior saying that he loves him. He was fed up and decided to talk to him. They started talking and becomes friends. I can see boss was falling when he heard the news of his suicide. It broke him"

Kinn look back at Vegas, gulping, remembering the said junior. Time had once told him this, a certain junior named Ray, following him going around telling people that he loves his senior Vegas. Kinn believed it was a prank or a rumour but..

Vegas joined his hands, praying once he saw a shooting star passing by. He close his eyes, hands joined together tightly, tears welling in his eyes.

"Get my Ray back. Please"

He said loud enough to be heard by everyone present in there, who also heard the story Nop narrated. Pete, a fellow bodyguard can look at the young cousin in pain.

He understands it somehow, his girlfriend also dying tragically in a car crash. But he can't imagine the pain the other have, to not to be confessed to him even though he loves him. To blame himself for his suicide and missing him.

Pete just wanted to wrap him in his warm cocoon and hide him from the hurt. But Pete can't, not when Ray is his younger cousin.

He respects Ray alot. Even after he is going through shit, he made sure to make Vegas smile and left, not able to bear the pain inside. But he was selfish to make Vegas love him and leave him ever so suddenly. If he wanted to leave he would have without hurting Vegas. But again, people with so much pain won't think straight. Their only way to escape their hell is to die. Maybe Ray get his peace.

But again, suicide isn't a choice. That will break the people around him. His eyes still rings the sound of his aunt, Ray's mom's cry on his funeral day. Ray's father emotionless face, crumbling down when Ray was rested in peace. And now Vegas, still hoping to get his love back, when though he is gone forever and never returns back.

Think I'll miss you forever
Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky

I don't know what crap is this.
It was written a long time ago.
Bear it please.