Until my last breath...

I'LL GIVE YOU THIS RING UNTIL I CAN GIVE YOU MY LAST NAME

It seemed the rain was slowing down now, I guess it was just a passing shower when it clears Rora and I can go sit under the peach tree later. I walked towards her and held her hand gently, as I observed her fragile hands I was shocked to see that she still wore my ring on her finger. I picked up her finger slowly and looked at the ring, it was the same one I had given her on her birthday with a promise to marry her one day. It was September 28th which was actually her birthday and she wanted to have a small party with close family and friends. she had pleaded with me to come knowing I don't like socializing but who could say no to Rora, not me that's for sure. the day before I panicked because I didn't know what to get her, I woke my friends up early and we went searching for the perfect gift the whole day but could not find anything. I had asked my friends for help but they didn't give me anything good so I was walking aimlessly in the mall until I came across a jewelry store. They were having a huge sale so I went inside and found the perfect gift for her. I told no one what I got her and kept it a secret, when the day came I was so nervous and began to doubt my gift. I wondered if she would like it because it was so simple compared to what other people were going to give her but nonetheless took it with me. the theme for her birthday was black and white so I wore a black suit with a white shirt, I didn't have a suit so I decided to hire one for the night just for her. once I had gotten to the party I was greeted by her parents and her friends, they all were dressed very fancy while I looked very plain but all negative thoughts vanished as soon as I saw her smile. When she noticed me, her smile got bigger and she ran to hug me, I didn't care about everyone else because only she mattered to me. once she ran to me I picked her up and twirled her around and I was once again star-struck by her smile. she stuck by my side throughout the night and introduced me to everyone as her boyfriend. I was over the moon when she introduced me like that because she was showing me off to her family and I enjoyed it a lot. Her parents gave a speech and I was told that I had to give a speech. I was nervous because no one told me about the speech and I didn't want to disappoint Rora. When I looked over at Rora she gave me an encouraging smile and threw a kiss at me which I laughed at and instantly felt so much better. I walked toward the mic and my eyes stayed only on one person, at first I didn't know what to say but looked at her in her long blue gown with her hair in curls which I knew she loved so very much. It's like I've been waiting for this moment for a long time. I greeted everyone and introduced myself as Rora's boyfriend, I talked about the first time I had met Rora in the school corridor and that I didn't know what I did to have such an amazing person like her in my life. Then I turned to her and smiled at her, I called her next to me. once she was by my side again, I took her hands in mine and said that I wasn't rich like all her friends and family, I was stubborn and I was always making mistakes but no one would love her as I did. I pulled out the present I got her from my pocket and opened the tiny box for her, inside was a ring which was simple with a blue stone on it. She had tears in her eyes as she looked at the ring and gave me her left hand without a doubt. I looked her in the eyes and told her that I was giving her this ring until I could give her my last name which made everyone at the party gasp in shock. She on the other hand was very happy and hugged me tightly and pulled me in for a small peck on the lips. I took her hand and kissed the ring on her finger and told her to see what was written on the inside, she took the ring and was shocked to see the words "I'll love you till my last breath". overall speaking that night went way better than I expected, I really did wish I could've given her my last name but it seems like we just weren't meant to be. SHE WAS MY PEACE, MY HOME... Sitting next to her right now feels so surreal, I slowly grabbed her hands and held them in mine then whispered gently in her ear that I love her till my last breath. The holidays were coming soon and I wondered if I would be spending them here with her. We used to talk a lot on the phone during the holidays as we never spent a holiday together because her parents didn't agree to it. we sent each other gifts for Christmas, I had gotten her a teddy bear and a snow globe with our song playing in the background. She had gotten me a jacket with the words "my world" and number one on the back. she bought me lots of chocolates because I loved them, even though we were apart I still felt at peace when I heard her voice or saw her face on our daily video calls. She had kept me calm, just seeing her reassured me. Once Rora had finished high school she went to a college overseas to become a pediatrician while I stayed here to study creative writing, it was hard at first because our schedules never aligned but I always made trips to visit her for the holidays and called her whenever I was free. There was something different about her whenever I visited her, she constantly worried over something and she had dark circles around her eyes which she tried covering up with makeup. when I asked her about it she had said that she was sick because of the stress of school. I left it at that because I didn't know what was happening but I felt like she was slipping from me. I noticed that her parents became more protective over her whenever I was around and they were always with her. there was never a time where I was left alone with her as if I'd ever hurt Rora. she wasn't allowed to come to visit me anymore as her parents said the doctor told her she can't travel and when I asked about her condition, her parents told me not to worry but I did. This went on for a year, I was annoyed but I didn't think anything bad would happen until It was at the last week of college for me when I realized that they were hiding something from me. I came to visit her for the weekend before Christmas, she was acting strange throughout the whole weekend. She seemed to forget little things and had to be told a couple of times, she would space out a lot and be in her own little world. She even avoided being alone with me I tried to ask her parent but they avoided the subject every time and when I asked Rora about it, she would say that she didn't know what I was talking about. It was a Saturday and Rora had said that she was going to the park that was down the road. two hours later her parents came and asked me where she went so I told them she took buck who was their dog to the park and that she should be back by now. Her parents began to panic and told me that she wasn't home yet, I ran out of the house and straight to the park. She wasn't there and I searched around the area, my heart was beating so fast that it felt like I was going to have a heart attack. Just then I saw her walking into her neighbor's yard and called for her. she completely ignored me when I knew she heard me. her parents luckily got to her before me and scolded her that she went to the wrong house but she was confused and just said sorry. I grabbed her and hugged her tightly and shouted at her for making me worry, she kept saying sorry and that she got lost but how could she get lost in her own neighborhood? Sunday came way too fast and I was about to leave when Aurora came to the gate and asked her parents what was going on and they told her that I was leaving to go back home, she looked confused and whispered something in her father's ear but he just dismissed it and said to say bye but she came and hugged me tight and for the first time she said goodbye instead of seeing you later. I thought nothing of it because she gave me a big smile like the one she used to give me back in high school and kissed my cheek. She waved me off and went inside not waiting to see me off which was unusual for her, I thought about that weekend all the way home and couldn't understand what was going on, there was a nagging voice in the back of my head that kept saying something wasn't right and I tried to phone her when I got home but it was switched off so I figured she was sleeping. A week went by and she still wasn't picking up, I became very worried and booked the earliest ticket I could to see her. When I arrived at her house there were people moving boxes into the house and my whole world came crashing down. It was as if my worst nightmare was coming true. A couple saw me by the gate and asked if I was Tony, I reluctantly nodded my head, and when I said yes they handed me a letter and said that the family had moved away a week ago and they were told to give me this if I ever came by. The couple had no idea where they moved to and was just as confused as I was, I felt hopeless because I didn't understand what was going on. I couldn't believe that she was gone and without a goodbye then I recalled the last time I saw her. they were hiding something and now she left without an explanation. When I went back home I couldn't bring myself to open the letter I was so confused and it frustrated me out, I flipped the table and threw anything I could come into contact with until I passed out due to the exhaustion when the morning had come I gathered all my courage and opened the letter, it was in her handwriting and it smelt just like her. The letter had said that she was sorry but she was leaving for reasons that she could not tell me and I shouldn't look for her because I would only hurt myself, at the end of the letter it said ill love you till my last breath and I knew at that moment I would find her again one day, I won't stop looking for her in every place I go and in every person, I meet I will look for her. when I find her I will never let her go again. It hurt like hell when I couldn't hear her voice or when I couldn't see her because she kept me grounded. she was my peace, my home and I knew I would never feel at home until I was with her again.