If I Feel I Want To Die

chapter 33

It didn’t take long for Nong to fall asleep. Teacher Dika’s bed was comfy, and with P’Dan there to hold his hand, he didn’t feel as scared as before. When his body began to feel heavy and drift away, Nong allowed the mysterious force to pull him towards his home by the sea. He woke to the sound of seagulls and ocean waves. The sky was cloudy today, and the thick gray covering reminded him of a soft, fuzzy blanket. The Sun is playing hide-and-seek again, just like P’Yok.

Nong sat up and looked around. He was sitting on the deck of their boat, a special one that existed only in Mindspace. Because none of us have been on a real boat in years. As he stood up, he felt the rough wooden planks scrape against his legs and bare feet. But like every other feeling here, the scraping felt dull, almost dreamlike. He wasn’t surprised though. After all, this was a magical place made of memories and dreams. Nong could spend hours, days, even months playing here and never get injured, sick, hungry, or sunburnt. As long as he was here, nothing could hurt him.

Nong walked to the edge of the boat and peered down at the sparkling ocean. It was calling to him. Grinning, he jumped and hit the cold, salty water with a big splash. For a brief moment, he was completely underwater. Then, he doggy-paddled and kicked, launching his body up, up, up towards the surface. Popping his head above the water, he opened his eyes just in time to see a flock of birds soaring through the air. Nong smiled, watching them glide in formation just above water and head towards the shore. For a moment, he pondered what it would be like to have wings and fly freely through the air like one of them. My wings would be big and strong like an eagle but all sorts of pretty colors like a parrot. I’d fly all over the island, play tag with the birds, and be so fast that no one would be able to catch me, not even P’Jade.

Nong frowned as thought about his brother. He’ll be waiting for me at the house. Argh. I just wish he’d leave me alone. Nong was a strong swimmer, but even he couldn’t tread water forever, not even to avoid his annoying older brother. He briefly thought about climbing back in the boat and sailing to the surface. But if he did, his nap would be over, and he’d be trapped in that big, tired, grumpy body again. Sighing, Nong began swimming towards the shore.

He swam until he reached the barrier and the water turned shallow enough to wade the rest of the way. Now that he'd crossed the barrier, the other phis would know he was back. P’Jade will try to get me to switch with him again. As he waded, the water went from his chest to his waist and finally his knees. The closer he got to the shore the more tired he felt. By the time he reached the shore, he was soaked, tired, and ready for a nap again. Nong flopped himself down on the sand and stared up at the sky again. It wasn’t as cloudy as before. Little fingers of sunlight were reaching through the thick blanket of cloud.

“Peekaboo,” Nong said with a giggle. “I see you.”

His giggling was quickly interrupted by a long yawn, then another. He was sleepy again, and the sleepiness clung to him like his damp clothes. Nong didn’t like feeling sleepy all the time. It made him grumpy and made it hard for him to have fun. Usually, he never felt tired here, unlike out in the real world. Here in Mindspace, he usually had endless energy.

“Unless it’s time to switch again,” Nong muttered. “But wait, if P’Yok isn’t awake yet, who will I switch with? Hmm…Maybe I’m just sleepy because of the swim. I need something fun to help me wake up…Hmm…Oh!” He sat up. “I’ll build a sandcastle!” He stood up and walked until he arrived at his favorite sandcastle-building spot. To his surprise, there was a sandcastle already there.

It was a large, pretty sandcastle with five towers of sand: four in a diamond pattern and one in the center. Circling the towers was a generous, half-circle moat filled with water and tiny floating sticks. In addition to the towers and moat, there was also a walkway leading up to the entrance of the fortress made of scalloped seashells arranged like cobblestones, and each sand tower was decorated with white feathers serving as flags. Finally, each of the towers had tiny shells and stones encircling the base. Next to the castle was a piece of sketchbook paper weighed down by a rock. On the paper was a short note which read: