Time after time

Under the mistletoe

Noah POV

On Christmas morning when I opened my eyes, Elle was lying with her head on me and wrapped around my arm. I decided to let her sleep as late as possible this morning to recover from the emotions of the last few days. The start of this Christmas holiday was very emotional for Elle and me.

First, there is the discussion I had with Lee the first evening we arrived. I knew from my mother that he was getting better but I never would have thought that he would have asked me for forgiveness for rule number 9!? Lee and I had a love/hate relationship for years, continually fighting over several things including... Shelly's attention.

When I entered high school, I decided to let go knowing full well that there was no point in trying to compete with my brother, deciding instead to create a life for myself. But the desire was still there to have intimacy with Shelly.

When she and I got engaged a few months ago, I knew Lee couldn't be happy for me. I wasn't asking him that! But when he came to tell me that ultimately he didn't think Shelly could do better and that he was happy for me... I felt like a huge burden was being lifted off my shoulders. Lee has always made it clear that according to him, I am a big asshole and a bad boy, I think that in a way I believed it! And it reinforced my feelings of never being the right guy for Elle.

Then the day after our arrival, Elle went to eat with her father. She seemed mixed and thoughtful when she returned from the restaurant as if a lot had been said there. I took the opportunity to offer her a motorcycle ride. I think that traveling the highway freely with the wind in our faces did us the greatest good. We drove up Highway 1 along the Pacific to Malibu. It was too cold to swim so we walked hand in hand along the shore. After a few steps, I was able to risk asking Elle how her meeting with her father went :

- He apologized again for the way Linda's move was announced to me and he told me he regretted that it pushed me away." she said to me, looking at the horizon. "And he told me he was planning to propose to Linda next year. He was thinking of doing it this summer but with our wedding in July, he thought it was too much change for everyone. We're probably going to have to go to Chicago for the holidays next year, my dad wants to propose with Linda's family.

- How are you experiencing this, Elle, that your father is officially starting a new life with someone else?

- Can I be honest?" she said to me with vulnerable eyes.

- I hope you know that you can be vulnerable with me! I think I saw you in the worst possible states. " I said to her, intertwining our fingers. "And like you told me this fall, if we decide to make ourselves vulnerable to sleep together, we can be emotionally vulnerable too.

She smiled at me then sighed looking at the ground :

- I don't feel like getting to know her yet. I...am not ready to be vulnerable with her yet. I don't want a woman who tries to take my mother's place. My father told me she could be a friend but I don't feel the need for a friendship with an older woman. Finally, I'm happy to have a good excuse since I live far away now and contact will be infrequent.

- I'm glad you see your time away for college as an advantage. " I said to her, pulling her hand to bring her closer to me.

- I realized while listening to my father talk about his relationship with Linda today that if he has the right to rebuild his life, I have the right too!

- And I'm really happy that you agreed to do it with me!" I said to her, taking her in my arms.

We continued walking along the beach and I led Elle towards a small bistro where we had our dinner, our feet in the sand looking at the sea in the distance. She leaned over to take a fries from my plate without my knowledge and I tried to push her hand away. The game lasted a few seconds before she said to me, laughing :