BELONGS TO ME

Chapter 34

WARNING : (OH YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO HATE CAMILA IN THIS ONE).

Camila

How five single days weigh like five years, I don't know, but it does. Every minute is slow passing, every footstep in the hall of my dorm, triggering, my mind tricking myself that maybe, just maybe, it's her on the other side. That her knuckles will come down with her knock and when I open the door, she'll be standing there with a smile, but that never happens.

The anxiety alone made It too hard to stay home, so I've been hiding in the library, when not in class, and I forced myself to skip their game two nights ago, but as painful as it was, I did watch it on TV.

Carl's pissed, I won't tell him what's going on.

Harry checks on me every night.

And Shawn, he's been calling and texting me twice a day, all of which have gone unanswered.

I don't know why, but this morning, it all became too much. I woke with a heavy sense of desperation, of need, and I couldn't help myself.

I called Lauren when I knew she should have been free, but she didn't pick up, so I sent her a message, hoping that would work.

She never responded.

Hailee said she's seen Lauren a time or two when visiting Zayn, but she doesn't stop to talk with anyone, simply going straight to her room. Hailee has talked to Shawn.

According to her, he's resorted to coming over now that there's no denying, I'm ignoring him. Supposedly, he stopped by twice this week already, both times when I was out, thank god.

With how determined he seems to be to try and reach me, I'm not sure how much longer I can avoid him, a fact that rings true when I round the corner of the library, where I've been hiding myself most days, and there Shawn sits not fifteen yards away.

I freeze in place, a million thoughts running through my mind, the loudest of which telling me to make a run for it, but my feet don't move.

Maybe it's time to let him say what's on his mind. To have a real conversation, like we should have done so long ago. The problem is, I wasn't ready for it then, and to be honest, I don't think he was either.

Over the last few days, I've thought a lot about Shawn, more than I care to admit, but it was what Lauren asked of me, and I realized quickly how necessary it was.

I had blocked out everything, the pain that came with the mention of his name alone was too much at the time and it caused everything to become muddled. I put him in a box and pushed it away.

I needed to remember, to revisit every moment with Shawn to realize where we went wrong... and where we felt right. My memories reminded me of why I fell in love with him in the first place. Alone with my thoughts, I cried and laughed, and then I realized...

I missed him.

I miss the guy who would take it easy on me when the others would get on my case about a skirt they thought was a little too short. The guy who slipped me and Hailee a couple beers in secret, when Carl said we weren't allowed to get drunk.

The guy who stayed out In the water with me long after the others complained of the cold because he knew I hated when it was time to leave the ocean.

But it wasn't only about him.

I missed our group nights, where no one else was invited, just the five of us.

Me, Hailee, Carl, Harry, and Shawn.

Ever since junior high, the only time we were apart was a few weeks each summer when the boys went off to football camp, but even then, we would video chat at least once a day.