BELONGS TO ME

Chapter 40

Dual pov

Lauren

A little over twenty minutes of my sitting beside her bedside passes before her eyes begin to flutter open, and I force as much of a smile as I can muster.

"Hi, Mom."

"Honey, you should have woken me." She places her palm over mine, and as she gets a better look at me, her face falls. "Lauren, no. Is Camila... did she not make —"

"No, no, she's okay." I shake my head, my voice hoarse and thick with exhaustion.

"Lauren?"

I bite the inside of my cheek, looking away as my eyes begin to cloud.

Outside of being a young kid, my mom has only seen me cry twice, Once when i was being bullied becasue of my intersexuality and after that was the day I came here to tell her about Camila's accident.

In the eleven days Camila was out, I wouldn't leave the hospital, but when the doc would make his rounds, asking us to clear the room while he and the nurse ran through her vitals, I'd run over here to see my mom, something I could never do during the football season, and thank fucking god for those few minutes I was forced to step away from my baby's bedside. If I didn't have that little time with my mom, I'm not sure what I would have done.

It might have only been for twenty or so minutes at a time, less on days she herself would get too anxious and tell me to hurry back to my girl, but it was the only thing that kept me sane.

But I don't feel sane anymore.

My mom squeezes my hand, and I drop my chin to my chest, pulling in a full breath.

"She doesn't remember me, Mom." I look to her, her face blurry from the mess my eyes threaten to make. "She woke up, but she woke to a world I wasn't a part of."

My mom's shaky inhale has me swallowing, trying to be a soldier for her sake, like she always does for me, but I can't find a drop of inner strength inside me, and the look in my mom's eyes says I don't have to.

"Come here, baby." She tugs on my hand, and I allow my body to fall against hers.

Her hand rubs along my back, and I hate that I've come here like this, that I've pulled her into my nightmare, but she wouldn't have it any other way.

I close my eyes, reminding myself I'm lucky I'm not alone in life, that I need to be grateful for the things I have, but my mind fights back, screaming for me to shut the fuck up.

That I am alone.

That I do have nothing.

Because what will my life be without Camila Cabello?

Empty, that's what.

Camila's Pov

"I think I want to know," I admit, and Carl's anxious gaze finds me.

He steps around the doctor, coming to stand near Hailee on my opposite side. They share a look, both facing me.

"Camila," Carl grasps my hand as he drops onto the bed beside me, a torn expression carved along his face. "You sure that's a good idea? The doc just said—"

"That it could be triggering or traumatic, I know, I was listening, but what do you think waking up and realizing your mind is stuck in Feb feels like?" Proof of my botched emotions warms my cheeks, and Carl's grip tightens. "I need to know why everyone is looking at me like I'm not even me. Did my life really change that much in one semester?"