INT. A MOVING HEARSE. DAY.
GRAPHIC - A MONTH EARLIER
Lane is in the driver's seat and FATHER MITCH rides shotgun as they drive down a lakeside road.
Mitch is a Catholic priest, late 60s but youthful and handsome. He wears a priest's black coat and a white starched collar. A BLANKET-COVERED BODY lies on a stretcher in the back of the car. Mitch reads the bible, deep in prayer.
LANE (V.O.) The morgue called me a few hours after father's body arrived. It was late so I waited until morning to give his brother Mitch the news. Mitch met me downtown. It had been a single-car accident. Roads were slick. The police report said he drove his car into a telephone pole. The transformer landed on the roof and he was electrocuted. No major damage to the body.
Lane sniffs the air.
LANE: Never had an electrocuted body before. Smells a little like ...barbecue.
MITCH: Laney, he was your father.
Lane reaches over to the radio and turns it on.
BLARING MUSIC - "Celebration" by Kool & the Gang.
Mitch shoots a disapproving glance at Lane. She turns off the radio.
LANE: What? Too soon?
The corpse jostles as they go over a bump in the road. There is an uneasy moment of silence between them, then the priest smiles understandingly.
MITCH: I know you two had your problems. He wasn't the best dad ever. But it helps to remember the good things - the happy times we shared with a deceased loved one.
Lane rolls her eyes.
LANE: Don't make me gag.
A smile comes over Mitch's face as he reflects on a childhood memory.
MITCH: As children, your dad and I often went fishing. I would wear my lucky Davy Crockett coon skin hat. There was a beautiful pond at the family farm. Dad, your grandpa, kept it stocked with trout.
LANE: Sounds nice - I suppose.
MITCH: I remember, one day I caught a fish...long as my arm it was. (He chuckles). It was the only catch of the entire day, and I got it. Rush was so jealous, well, he took the trout and smashed it against a tree, then he stomped on it until it was mush. Ha, ha.
LANE: Asshole.
MITCH: Then he stole my Davy Crockett hat and put it on his head. He broke my fishing rod in two and threw it at my head. That's where this scar came from. Scared for life because of him.
Mitch convulses ever so slightly.
LANE: Are you okay? Happy times - remember.
Mitch composes himself and smiles sickly.
MITCH: Oh, and then, your dad, my brother, god love him, he kicked me in the nuts.
LANE: Ouch....
MITCH: (forcing a smile) But, we must remember the good in people. That's what the good book says. That's what the fucking church says. Turn the other fucking cheek.
Mitch rips his bible clean in half.
CLOSE ON THE STRETCHER IN THE BACK OF THE CAR. The body's left hand slips out from under its blanket. A finger TWITCHES.
EXT. A LAKE-SIDE BEACH OFF THE ROAD - DAY
The hearse pulls to a stop. Lane gets out of the car. She walks to the water's edge. She picks up a flat stone and skips it across the water so hard she grunts.
YOU ARE READING
Came Upon Some Bodies Rotting
HumorWhen her deceased father walks away from the embalming table and starts killing people for body parts, a funeral director has to overcome her insecurities and personal demons to put her dad back in his place and find a new life among the walking dea...
