Elegant (Wolffe)

20

Tw: Fourth wall breaking?

"I don't normally ask for help," Wolffe sighed, "but this time I need it."

Sinker lifted his head from where he was sprawled across the floor. "This sounds serious. Did you kill a Kaminoan? Because I know the perfect place to hide the body."

"I didn't kill a Kaminoan." Wolffe narrowed his eyes at Sinker, wondering why he knew where to put a body.

"You didn't kill a Kaminoan, but you did kill someone?" Warthog raised an eyebrow teasingly. "Maker, Commander, I should report you."

"I didn't kill anyone!" Wolffe pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "I regret coming here."

"Just tell us!" Boost smacked the back of Warthog's head.

Wolffe shook his head. "Nope. I changed my mind." He started walking to the exit, but Comet jumped in his path.

"Tell us!" Comet demanded. He spread out his arms to prevent Wolffe from passing.

"I have a date with Karina. What do I do?" Wolffe's face was terrifyingly expressionless.

"You okay? You don't seem enthusiastic." Sinker guided Wolffe to sit next to him.

"I just don't want to show you guys how happy I am." Wolffe scowled at them all. "You'll make fun of me."

"We were the ones that tried to get you together anyway!" Boost groaned and fell out of his bed.

Wolffe's scowl deepened. "What?"

Boost froze. "Right. You didn't know about that."

"I want to know now, though," Wolffe told them. He herded them all together so they weren't spread across the room. He learned long ago that it was better to keep an eye on all of them.

"We might've tried to get you together by attempting various tactics," Warthog casually said. "No big deal."

"Is that why you locked us in a storage closet?" Wolffe demanded. "Because- Wait. Is that how her leg got broken?"

Sinker gave a frightened smile. "Yes? But at least we can all laugh about it now! Ha! Ha ha ha. Ha..."

"So you broke her leg... so I would possibly ask her out?" Wolffe slowly said.

"Or she'd ask you out." Boost grinned. "A lady can ask a gentleman out if she wishes."

"Or a gentleman can ask a gentleman if he wishes," Sinker added. "Doesn't matter to us."

"Or someone who isn't a gentleman or a lady can ask out a lady," Warthog said.

Comet nodded along. "Or someone who isn't a gentleman or a lady can ask out a gentleman."

"Or someone who isn't a gentleman or a lady can ask out someone who is neither a gentleman nor a lady," Sinker enthusiastically said.

"But what if they aren't interested in ladies nor gentlemen or anything in between?" Warthog stroked his chin, mimicking Kenobi.

Sinker shrugged. "That's okay too."

"And if they're interested in both ladies and gentlemen?" Warthog asked Boost.

"Then that's okay too!" Boost enthusiastically answered.

Wolffe stared at them all, squinting in disbelief. "What is happening?"

"As long as everyone is consenting and happy," Warthog loudly said, narrowing his eyes at the others.

"Right. Consent is key!" Comet practically shouted.