Settling Down

Chapter Thirteen: Stay Strong

A high pitched squeal jolted me from my long line of rambling. Mary had pulled back from Roland, holding a toy tight in her little arms. Roland was fussing, his cheeks turning red.

"Mommy I didn't mean to make him upset!" Mary immediately explains, tears of her own welling in her eyes. Both Liz and I get up and move to the young children.

I scooped Mary up and kissed her temple, rocking soothingly. "Shhh it's okay baby. You're not in trouble." I whisper in her ear. "Nobody's mad."

Mary clung tightly to me, burying her face in my neck. "Nobody's mad?" She whimpers.

I nod and let my fingers run through her dark hair. "Nobody's mad, baby. Roland just doesn't know what sharing is. He really doesn't have a good way of communicating besides crying or giggling." I reply. "Okay? It's not your fault."

Mary sniffled as I checked on Roland who sat in Liz's lap. "Let's go upstairs and clean up before dinner okay sweetie?" I suggest. "Do you want me to take Roland too?" I ask Liz, already grabbing my bag.

"No no. I'll stay down and get him settled down first. You go ahead up alright?" Liz assures me, shooing me down the dock.

I nod and kiss Mary's head. "Okay. I'll be back after I get her settled in if you're not up." I warn before taking Mary and my bag up to the house.

"Sweetie I'm going to have to set you down okay?" I whisper into her hair. "I've got to open the door and I can't do that with you in my arms." My explanation was enough to get Mary to wriggle from my arms down to my waist where she latched on to me with her arms around me.

I opened the door and listened for any movement that would signal where Robin was. But it was quiet. We walked into the back of the large house as I lead Mary to the kitchen.

Nobody.

A frown appeared on my face as I slowly set the lake bag down. "Robin?" I call, taking Mary's hand.

After not getting a response, I walked into our bedroom and got Mary a quick shower. She didn't fuss at all, signaling that she was tired. But this late in the day meant that she'd probably be up all night if she slept now. So as an alternative, I sat her down in the living room and covered her with her blankie.

"I'll be right back okay baby?" I was worried about Robin. He hadn't made an appearance since we got to the house and I wanted to check on him but didn't need Mary sticking around. I knew it was probably all fine but I wanted to be sure.

"I'll turn the tv on okay?" Mary had her eyes closed but nodded, curling up so only her head poked out of the blanket. My heart swelled as I leaned forward and kissed her forehead gently, brushing black hair away from such a pale face. "Come get me if you need me."

With that, I stood up and slowly walked to the room Robin slept in last night. I opened the door slowly as I knocked. "Robin baby? You in here?" But what I saw scared me more than anything.

Robin sat with his head between his hands with his elbows on his knees. He sniffled, his face pointed to the puddle of water on the ground. His phone lay at his feet, shattered glass from the screen shimmering in the mix of tears.

I had never seen him like this. Robin never showed that he was upset and always kept strong for Mary and I. So to see him like this took my breath away. Made my heart stop.

I didn't even know what to think.

"Robin." I whisper in shock, my legs moving me to his side before I knew what was happening. I knelt down, slowly peeling calloused hands away. "Baby look at me." My shins sank into the shards of glass as my eyes scanned the bright red face that brushed against mine.

My forehead leaned against mine as my thumbs wiped away his tears. "Sweetheart please tell me what's wrong, you're scaring me. Are you hurt?" Strong but shaky arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me up and onto his lap. I sat still, holding Robin as close as possible.

"John and Marion." Robin's voice cracked as he squeezed me right. My heart sunk. That's all he needed to say for me to know. John and Marion had passed away. I didn't know from what and I wasn't going to ask. It was most likely a car crash on their way down here for them to both have passed but I wasn't going to press Robin.

I knew this was big for him, just like my father and I. John had been with him all throughout his life and now his best friend was gone. I just needed to be there for him.

"Oh Robin." I whisper, holding him tight. "Oh my." I kissed the top of his head, gripping the back of his shirt. "Do you want to talk about it?" My voice was low as I gently rubbed Robin's back.

It took a few moments before a slight shake of his head told me that for now, I should keep my mouth shut. So, I moved from Robin's lap and stood up. He didn't even flinch as I pulled him back a bit and crawled in bed. Robin only frowned, watching me with saddened eyes. There was no feeling, no life, in those eyes. No passion like there once was.

"Come here." I whisper, reaching up to wipe his newly shed tears. "Come lay down." Robin obliged, pulling me close so that his face was nuzzled in my hair.

After a few moments I felt tears seeping through my hair from Robin's cheeks. I snuggled closer to him as my heart shattered. If there was only something I could do to take the pain of loss away, I would.

A/N: hey guys! I really struggled with writing this chapter. It was hard for me to put the feeling of loss into another character. I know what it's like for me but everyone handles things differently. And even though I've lived and breathed these characters since almost this past Valentine's Day, I struggled with making Robin struggle and mourn realistically. So I hope I did a satisfactory job with keeping this as real as possible. Also, I just want to let you all know that I will be updating from now on on Fridays...