This Love (Paige Bueckers)

15

narrative

caitlin pov

I stare at the blonde under me. we're both out of breath. I smile at her before going back in for a kiss.

I run my hands down her smooth skin until I get to-

a door opens. fuck.

"what the fuck." A voice says.

me and the blonde untangle and quickly put our clothes back on.

"WHAT THE FUCK, CAITLIN??" the voice screams.

I finish getting dressed before looking up to confirm my suspicions on who the voice was.

"I'm sorry," I say looking at the ground.

"HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON??" the voice screams.

"four months," I mumble.

"AND YOU HAVE JUST BEEN KEEPING ALL OF THIS FROM ME??"

"why the fuck would I tell you about this?" I ask. "I just wasn't ready to come out yet and I people were suspecting shit."

"SO YOU JUST DECIDED TO DATE A MAN FOR PUBLICITY??" the voice screams.

"yeah," I mumble. "I didn't mean to hurt you. seriously, you're so sweet but I just don't see you like that. I was scared about what my parents would think if I told them that I don't actually like you. I tried to convince myself that I did, but it couldn't. because I'm gay, Connor. I can't just convince myself not to be."

"I fell so fucking in love with you caitlin. i thought that you loved me too," Connor says.

"I do love you!" I yell.

"just not like that, right?" he asks.

"just not like that," I respond.

"do you know why I came home to surprise you this weekend?" he asks.

"no," I say.

"I was going to ask you to marry me," he tells me.

"you were WHAT?" I yell.

"I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU TO FUCKING MARRY ME CAITLIN!" he screams.

I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out.

"but you're a fucking dyke," he says.

"Jesus Christ, Connor," I say. "you can say that shit. I understand you being mad and upset or whatever, but don't fucking call me that. don't call anyone that. get the fuck out."

"no," he pauses. "I want you to prove to me that you're gay."

"what?" I whisper.

"prove it."

"and how would I do that?" I ask.

"fuck her," he says. "fuck her right in front of me."

"WHAT THE FUCK CONNOR?!" I scream.
I reach behind me as if to protect the blonde.

"do it!" he yells, "or else I won't leave."

"get. the fuck. OUT!" I scream.

"fine!" he yells.

he starts to walk out of the room before stopping to turn around and say. "I'm telling your parents."

"bitchhh! you don't think they already know?" I laugh. "I told them a few weeks ago and they said that I needed to break up with you. I was going to do it next week when I saw you." I pause. "look Connor, I'm sorry, but I'm done being civil. you do ANYTHING to hurt me, _____, or my family. you're fucking dead." I slam the door in his face.