Lonely Hearts Club

Responsibility

I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at Dolly's things that I had neatly stacked and folded in her bags that she would leave here. Her nightgown, the one that I loved, was right on top. I bounced my leg, furious with everything. I felt tears well in my eyes again and tried blinking them back unsuccessfully.

I couldn't believe how quickly everything had devolved last night. I had just been so angry and so scared after Dolly had gotten that phone call from Matty, and I practically lost my mind. I couldn't let go of the thought that Dolly had been the reason why I agreed to this party. I knew it was irrational. I knew that she had done nothing to make me agree to it, outside of asking me to be rational with Maggie. But I could not contain my anger at her. And I couldn't stop myself – my vitriol flowed out of me with no stopping, and Dolly was my victim.

I was so angry with Maggie. She lied. She lied, and that little shit head boyfriend brought who booze even though he promised to take care of her. I couldn't believe how stupid she was – she knew better. And to outright tell me she was planning to lie to me? I was even angrier. But then, I would remember how I was when I was her age. I used to lie about everything to Wayne, which is why I tried so hard to have a different relationship with Maggie.

Speaking of Maggie – I had let her sleep in far too late. It was ten past seven; she would have had plenty of time to have slept in.

I stormed to her bedroom, throwing the door open. I flipped the lights up, and Maggie shot up in bed, her hair wild.

"What's going on?" she said breathlessly. I leaned against the door jamb.

"It's time for you to get up. You need to clean the trailer," I explained coolly. She scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"I'll take care of it later, I don't feel good," she snapped, throwing her covers over her head.

I felt an irrational wave of fury. I had just been broken up with, I had gotten no sleep, and I wasn't the one who broke the rules. I marched to her, grabbing her covers. I yanked them off as hard as I could, making her shriek with shock. She looked at me, shocked.

"I know you don't feel good – that's why I want to make sure you get to those beer cans while they're nice and sticky," I seethed. She glared at me, finally sitting up.

"I hate you," she hissed. I gave her a patronizing smile.

"I'm not your biggest fan right now, either," I snapped. I pointed at her door. "Go get to work. Now."

She stomped away to the trailer, and I heard her gag. I smiled – at least this punishment would be painful for her. I made my way back to my room, glaring at Maggie as we passed each other.

"I'll be out in an hour to check on your progress," I called behind my shoulder.

"Oh, that's nice – you and the general get to sit back there and rest while I suffer out here!" Maggie yelled back. I felt my heart catch and I slammed the door behind me.

"God damn it," I sighed, wiping my face as I felt tears fall from my eyes again.

I had gotten no sleep the night before, and I didn't understand why until I realized it was because Dolly wasn't with me. And I couldn't get her face out of my head. She was so hurt and so confused by my anger. There was one moment when I watched her when I was yelling at her – like she was waiting for me to say the right thing, to walk something back.

But I didn't. I decided to tell her that she was the cause of all of my issues with Maggie.

I hated that I made Dolly cry. I had always prided myself on how good I was to her, how safe she felt with me. And I made her cry.