Lonely Hearts Club

No Crying

"You weren't even this pathetic when you and Steve broke up," Robin sighed, stroking my hair. I was laying in her lap, crying about Eddie, again. I sniffled and took a deep breath in.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," I sobbed. She sighed sadly again.

"You loved him, Dolls. Or, really, you love him," she answered. I screwed my eyes shut.

"I just need to get over him," I insisted. Robin was quiet, and I looked up at her. "Right?"

"I really liked you guys together," she finally admitted. I sat up, incredulous.

"You hated him. We didn't talk for a month when he and I dated," I replied. She shrugged.

"I was wrong though – after we hung out and how much we talked when I would call the house to talk to you, I realized I was wrong," she said. I let out another sob, and Robin set her arms around me. "Oh, Dolls, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

"I just don't get it – I don't understand why I'm so sad," I continued, wiping my face. Robin frowned and rubbed my back.

"Dolls, honey – are you sure you want to stick with this decision? Maybe you should call him," Robin offered. I shook my head.

"I don't think he wants to be with me. When I saw him to get my things...I just need to get over it," I answered. Robin's mouth twisted.

"If you miss him—"

"No, Rob," I insisted. She sighed.

"Okay, okay – well let's go out and get some food or something so we can get out of here," she said. I furrowed my brows.

"I look like a wreck," I answered. She shrugged.

"Alright – I'm going to go out and get us a pizza or something. While I'm gone – go shower and get freshened up," she insisted. I sighed and nodded, agreeing with her. She gave me another hug. "I know this hurts."

With that she stood, grabbing her purse from the counter and turning to me as she got to the door.

"And no crying!" she called out before leaving my apartment.

I smiled in spite of my sad mood and padded to my bathroom. I started the water, slipping out of the clothes I had been wearing for several days while I waited for the water to get hot enough. I stepped in, closing my eyes as the hot water hit my skin. I tried not to think about how Eddie would splash me and wash my hair when we were together. I finished washing my hair and body and I shut the water off.

I got out and started drying off. I pulled my robe on and turned to the mirror. I reached for my brush, and immediately felt my eyes well. I remembered how Eddie would brush my hair and press soft kisses to my shoulder.

God damn it – I needed to buck up.

I brushed my hair, yanking on my brush to get through the knots that Eddie was normally so careful with. I went out to my room and got changed, getting back into my favorite pajama pants. I pulled on Eddie's flannel, relieved when I realized it still smelled like him. I trudged towards my living room, crashing into my couch and curling up on it.

I sat there for a while, staring at my wall and unable to focus on anything else except for the knot in my chest. My bones felt heavy. My heart felt heavy. The door swung open, and I glanced over. Robin came barreling in with a pizza box in her hands, frowning when she saw me.

"What did I say about crying?" she asked, closing the door behind her.

I shrugged, looking back at the wall. She tromped over to me, dropping the pizza on the coffee table. She sat by me, pulling me up. I sighed heavily and pulled my legs up onto the couch. I set my hands over my face, sighing heavily.