A Court of Wind and Song

30: Beginnings

Nesta

GWYN

That was what the sign up sheet had red last night, just one name in all capital letters. Bold and unflinching, a vow.

Which is why I was standing here on the rooftop, flushed cheeks and shaking hands as I waited for her to show up. Cassian was standing next to me, the heat from his body the only fight against the cool autumn wind.

I told myself that was the only reason I was standing so close to him.

It wasn't entirely true.

"Stop fidgeting." He grumbled, "You're making me nervous."

"Get over it." I hissed in response.

Cassian stepped behind me, a hand slipping around my waist as he leaned down to whisper in my ear, "Being mean won't make what happened last night go away."

I chill ran up my spine that wasn't from the cold as memories flashed in my head. His large hands running down my skin, his moans in my ear, his lips on my neck, the pleasure he wrought from me like it was breathing- and the deflation I felt as he got up and left afterwards.

"I hope you enjoyed it, because it won't be happening again." I snapped, hating how breathy my voice had gotten.

That's what I had said last time, and the time before that too.

"We'll see." He said, his voice darkening, "At least you're squirming for a different reason now."

"I hate you." I forced a mask of composure on my face, betrayed by the burning of my cheeks.

A low, arrogant chuckle rang in my ears at the same moment that Gwyn appeared in the archway of the stairs, "Liar."

I shook him off, refocusing on Gwyn's wide teal eyes and the way the sunlight glinted off of her copper hair. Strands of gold and auburn combined together, hanging in perfect curls against her robes. I could practically smell the fear rolling off of her as her eyes darted towards the sky.

Was this the first time that the priestess had managed to go outside since she arrived here?

Something about her fear unnerved me, gave me pause in the even strides I was making. Not because I was made uncomfortable by it... but rather because I did not know how to fix it.

And I realized at that moment that I wanted to fix it.

"I realized on the walk up here that I don't have proper clothing."

What was the right thing to say? To do?

What would Leur say?

"No worries." Cassian cut in with the same warmth his sister would have, "It won't matter much for a while."

Gwyn offered him a shy smile, and I turned to her. At minimum, this was something I could fix, even if I had to beg Leur to help me.

"We can have Leur make you some." I told Gwyn.

"I can find a way to pay for them if-"

"Don't worry about that." I said.

Gwyn's hair ruffled as she shook her head, "I can't accept-"

"Think of it as a thank you." Was all I could manage to say.

I doubted that Leur would let me pay for them regardless. Even then, I paid for anything I needed with her and Azriel's tab these days. Which wasn't much, perhaps just a few toiletries and entrance into music halls. I didn't know if they didn't care or simply had so much money that they didn't notice- but it was what she had told me to do.