In Need Of A Definition

Chapter Five [Pic of Aziah]

Naveah’s P.O.V

I couldn’t move, speak, think, even feel. After that scream, I felt nothing as I stared at the knife that was still in my left thigh. Wow, it felt like life was just moving on without me, my body just refused to react. All the pain that I have suffered for 15 years prepared me for this and I was stuck. Not only physically, but emotionally, their was nothing left. Not a single thought ran across my mind as I lay there in the house I grew up in, the one place that I was supposed to feel safe, is where I'm sitting with a knife in y thigh, A knife that my own mother had just stabbed me with. I felt cold blood rush through my body, but apart from that, nothing. That’s when the tears began to fall, one by one, without fail they just wouldn’t stop. I made no sound as the tears just violently rolled down my cheeks. I don’t understand whats wrong with me, I know this is definitely not a dream and I know what she just did to me, but its like my brain’s in denial. Refusing to let the pain break me. Refusing to let death take over, so it completely shuts out the pain. Frozen in the same spot, the silence deafened me.

Then she broke it and burst out laughing. My eyes shot up, but what I saw amazed me. Yeah she was laughing but now she was on the floor rocking back and forth as tears rolled effortlessly down her cheeks as well. I don’t know if it was the Pain from the blood that ran down her hands as she dragged the knife up and down her arm still laughing. Was this the same person that claimed she loved me? Was this the same mother that vowed she would always protect me? It makes no sense how just in a matter of seconds everything changes. It wasn’t always like this, we used to be happy…

*Flashback* 6 years ago

I ran after this fool as he ran away with my phone, who does he think he is? KMT. It was family day! YAY. I know what you’re thinking, who the hell has family day right? Well the Brooks family does :D It was the first Saturday of the month and as always we were all together, the whole family. Mummy, Daddy, Marcel (my big headed older brother) and me. We decided to go to the beach today and while mum and dad were all snuggled up on the sand, Marcel decides to be an idiot and take my phone and start running away with it. So I’ve been chasing him for like 10 minutes now and I still haven’t caught him yet, I was actually frustrated. I started crying and he immediately turned around.

“Aww Nae I was only playing,” he bent down and pulled my chin up as I slyly took my phone out of his pocket.

“Sucka!” I laughed in his face, he always falls for that. He says dad taught him never to make a princess cry and I’m his little princess, I’m soo loved :D I pushed him unto the sand and sat on him, and he rolled over and sat on me.

“Argh! Mum!” I screamed “Oh my gosh you’re so fat man get off me!” he just kept on laughing. I don’t understand how he thinks a 15 year old can be lying on a little tiny 9 year old, that just doesn’t work.

We went on like this for the whole day, just total family time. Mum and Dad stayed snuggled up together like they would never let go and me and Marcel just constantly fought, well he beat me up :| We went home with me and Marcel chanting ‘Brooks For Life’.

I loved my family, everything was just perfect, and we always seemed happy for some reason. I dunno why but after a while I started to feel like something wasn’t right.

It wasn’t long before my doubt became a reality as I lost everything on Saturday 2nd July as we walked towards the corner shop. Just laughing and singing, just normal. We were listening to Chris Brown’s first album (Good times), then Say Goodbye came on and I got bare excited, this was my jam! We both began to sing along to it, no one else could make me feel so comfortable and loved like him. His voice was sent from heaven, without a doubt. He would always sing to me when I was upset, he even sang me to sleep. I knew he would be something great in future, he ignored me whenever I said it but we all knew that he would have been amazing. We walked together as we harmonized and I got into the Chris Brown mode. I could see from the corner of my eye that he kept looking back, something wasn’t right, I could feel it. Something was telling me to just drag him and run.