Burdens and Bulwarks (Tyler Joseph Fanfiction)

Chapter Four

*TRIGGER WARNING. A SMALL PART OF THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS A DETAILED SCENE OF  PHYSICAL ABUSE AND SELF HARM, PLEASE DO NOT READ IT IF IT WILL TRIGGER YOU, FRIEND. I LOVE YOU AND I ONLY WANT YOU TO BE SAFE. TYLER AND JOSH LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU TO BE SAFE TOO. YOU DESERVE SAFETY AND SUNSHINE AND LOVE. GOOD DAY. MESSAGE ME AND I CAN TAG YOU WHERE THE TRIGGERING SCENE STARTS AND ENDS. MESSAGE ME IF YOU EVER NEED SOMEONE OKAY YEAH GOODBYE. HAVE A DAY.*

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"Did you have fun blowing up my damn phone?" My mother throws her phone down on the kitchen counter, it makes a quiet slamming sound but I think my mom meant for it to be louder. She is wearing a silk, red floral robe with lingerie underneath.

"Mom, you had me waiting after school for at least thirty minutes." I explain, not sure why I even try, she won't listen.

"Yeah, well I have got better things to do than pick your ass up from school." My mom's words were slurred, I wonder how many ounces she had this time.

"Who did you bother to drive you home?" She spat.

"Just a friend, and he offered." I roll my eyes, I don't ever want Tyler to meet this mom. It would not be safe for him, this mom doesn't hold back.

"Oh." My mom laughs, "he.... what does he see in you. That poor boy does not know what kind of bitch he is dealing with. Don't worry, he'll forget you soon."

I wince at my mother's words, "It's not even like that."

I hear a door slam from upstairs, which makes me jerk my head toward that direction, and then footsteps. A man soon appears, buckling up his belt.

"I really can't wait to do this ag-" The man stops everything he is doing when he sees me, his mouth wide open as if he is surprised to see me. His hair is black and greased back, blue eyes and he is wearing a suit and tie.

He did never stated what he just could not wait to do again, but I think I've got an idea. Yes, I've got a really good idea of what it might be and that thought disgusted me. It would have been different if this was a man my mom was looking for a long term relationship with, but this isn't what that was. This is the third guy this month. They take advantage of her and then they leave.

I squeeze my eyes shut and look away from the man, "Jesus Christ, mom!"

"Shit," The man yells, fidgeting over to the door, finishing buckling up his belt. "I'm sorry, didn't know you had a daughter. Call me sometime." The man fumbles with the door knob, and then before closing the door he mumbles, "or not."

"Goddammit!" She threw her bottle of beer at the wall after he left, the glass shattering into pieces, "You ruin everything!" She yells.

She walks towards me with a fast pace, gripping her hand around my arm and pushing me up against the wall, I wince at the pain. Her face is inches away from mine and I can smell her humid, alcohol breath.

"You can't just let me be happy, can you?!" My mom was screaming, shaking me violently which makes everything go blurry.

"Mom, I'm sorry." I sob, my lips quivering and my voice shaking. "I just don't want you to get hurt anymore, you know you wouldn't have heard from him ever again anyways." I say with empathy in me voice, I wish I could help her.

My mom looks at me with a disgusted look on her face and pushes me, "Get away from me, I can't stand to look at you cry. It's disgusting."

I walk up stairs to my room, holding onto my arm and crying. When I enter, I go to my desk and open up a compartment that is on the side of it and shuffle around desperately until I find my wallet, taking it into the bathroom with me.