Burdens and Bulwarks (Tyler Joseph Fanfiction)

Chapter Ten

"I think it's absolutely ridiculous." I stare in disbelief at my mother's suggestion. "We did not move all the way to Ohio from California for nothing. We move a bit farther every single time dad screws up. Before you know it, we'll be living on the Easter Islands."

My mom parks in Taco Bell's parking lot and sighs. "I think you're the one being ridiculous. Your father loves us and respects us, Scarlette. He's changed for the better."

I snort, "good one, mom!" I look at her with piercing eyes. "If that's what love and respect is, I don't want any of it. He's just using you."

My mom scowls in disgust as her hand slowly fixes the placement of her hair, "how so?"

"He knows you're lonely, mom!" I raise my voice and shake my head, "you don't do a very great job at hiding it."

"I don't know what you mean."

I laugh in amusement, "you're in goddamn denial, mom."

"Excuse m-"

"You know exactly what I mean! You don't want to admit that you're drinking more than half of your body weight every night! You don't want to admit that you're robbing your own mother of money- when are you going to tell her that it's not the government taking her money out of her bank account it's you!" I point at her.

I see my mom's eyes starting to glisten with tears, but for some reason I feel no sympathy right now.

"He knows you're desperate for a man's touch, so that's exactly what he'll give you! For awhile... It'll be a gentle touch... A soft one, it'll feel loving and caring." My voice is faint as my eyes fill with salt water then my voice becomes loud, "and then he'll decide we're no good and his touch will become aggressive and forceful and before you know it, you'll have two black eyes and a dislocated jaw!" My breathing becomes heavy and I begin to cry in anger, "that's not enough for you, mom?! Well what about me! What about when my hero, my father. The one who is suppose to protect me becomes the person who I need protecting from. Do you remember those times, mom?! When I had to be put in the hospital because of him?! And you told the doctor I fell?"

My mom squeezes her eyes shut as if she's trying to block me out, so I yell louder.

"Yeah! Those days were golden. Just grand!" I laugh, opening the door and getting out, "well you know what?! I don't want them back. There! That's how I feel about you and him getting back together! I'm not hungry anymore." I slam the door shut, "why don't you take the money you were going to spend on my food and use it to get drunk, I don't care anymore."

I turn around and walk away, I hear my mom sobbing in the car from behind, people were staring, but I just roll my eyes.

I'm filled with anger and doubt. I don't want to be with my mom. I don't want to be with my dad.

I want to leave.

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Another day at school, another day doing the same routine. I need to get out. I need to leave. I need to be somewhere, where I don't feel repetitive.

I made it home really late last night, my mom never came back. She wasn't back when I woke up either.

Right now, I am walking down the hallway. It's lunch and Tyler stayed in to finish his exam. I'm walking to my math class to see if there is any way I can get my grade up before Christmas break starts and grades go out.