My Epitome Of Love

Chapter Ten

The next morning as I heard life coming from downstairs I still couldn't bring myself to leave my bedroom. I simply sat and stared out the window for hours.

"Seren honey? Are you okay?" Melanie asks from the door. I try to respond but choke. "Seren honey i'm worried I haven't seen you yet." She says jiggling the door knob.

"I'm fine." I respond opening the door. Her eyes widen. "Did you sleep? You look like a raccoon." She laughs. "I'm fine." I say again closing the door. I pull on a short khaki skirt and black tube top and I head downstairs. I needed to get out of the house. Go somewhere where nobody would bother me or ask questions. "Good morning babe. You passed out on me last night." Zane chuckles. "Sorry." I mumble. I reach for a glass in the cupboard and feel arms around my waist. I immediately pull away and drop the cup and glass shatteres everywhere. "Woah sorry." Jeremiah laughs. "Seren are you okay?" Zaina asks standing up. "I'm fine." I nod reaching down to pick up the glass. "You're bleeding." She says staring at my leg. Sure enough the glass had cut my thigh. "Let me." Jeremiah says grabbing the sweeper. Zane immediately wets a towel and reaches for my leg. "Thanks." I nod taking the towel from his hand. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't bring myself to look at anyone. "I was thinking how I've never taken you out on a proper date Sere. Can I take my beautiful wife out to dinner tonight?" Zane smiles. "I was thinking too. And um I'm just not ready to be in a relationship sorry." I say. I feel my heart shatter even more. "Sorry?"  Zane repeats. I nod. "Going out, Sophie can I borrow the car? I ask grabbing the keys. "Yeah sure." She says quietly. I head into the garage not daring to glance at Stephan's car. So much for discreet Seren.

I climb into Sophie's car and speed off.

"Seren?" Austin says. "Hey I need something. Like anything." I say. He laughs. "It's 11AM sleep much?" He asks. "Austin this is serious can I come over or not?" I ask. "Only if you tell me why." He replies stubbornly. I roll my eyes. "Zane and I broke up." I blurt out. "I guess that's valid. I texted you the address, see you soon." He says and I end the call. I type his address into my phone. Luckily Austin lived close enough. I didn't like driving.

I pull into Austin's driveway and let myself inside. "Yo." He says. I kick off my shoes and make my way into what looked like the living room. Austin's eyes were glued on a game projected on the T.V and there were two other boys I didn't recognize. I flop on the couch and hand Austin the cash I had stuffed in my pocket. "Damn who's she?" One of the boys asks eyeing me up and down. "Not this one." Austin glares at him. He hands me a blunt and I light it up immediately. "I need something stronger." I cough. "Damn girl what the fuck happened?" He asks. "Austin if you tell any of them i'm here i'll kill you." I warn. "Here." He says tossing me a pill bottle. "What's this?" I ask. "Ativan. Will calm you down and get you high." He says. The instructions on the bottle read to take one and let it dissolve on your tongue so I take two. I hand him the rest of my cash. "Given this is a full bottle i'm claiming it now." I tell him shoving the bottle into my pocket. "Didn't take you for a pill popper." He laughs. "I'm just curious how you know Austin here?" The other boy smirks. "Met him at a party. He's my best friend." I say closing my eyes. "We are not best friends Seren. You're like this lost little puppy with these sad fucking eyes I just feel obligated to be there for you." He ssys and the boys snicker. "Austin's worried i'm going to kill myself." I say. I could feel the mixture of the weed and pills kickimg in. "Are you?" The first boy asks. "I don't know. Would you tell anyone if you were?" I ask. His eyes widen. "Relax." I roll my eyes. "Jeez Seren." Austin mumbles. "I feel better already." I sigh. "You're boyfriend's calling." He says glancing at my phone. Sure enough Zane's face was plastered across the screen. After a few seconds the ringing stops. He had called ten times and texted. I turn off my phone and close my eyes again. "Austin." I mumble. "Seren." He replies. "Just..don't let anyone get me." I mumble. I don't hear what he responds because after that I pass out.

When I wake up it's almost 4AM . "Fuck." I mumble sitting up. "Hey kid." Austin says handing me a water bottle. I chug it and sigh. "Did you sleep at all after the party?" He asks. I shake my head no. "I can tell you got these big fucking bags." He says. I roll my eyes. "Is it cool that i'm here?" I ask. "It's never cool that a girl who looks like you is at her drug dealers house all night." He mutters. "Well you're my best friend you're not going to hurt me." I snap. "Come on." He says grabbing my hand. He leads me into the kitchen and drops my arm. "Are you okay?" He asks. "You care?" I breathe. "To some extent. What the fuck are you going on about or are you just high?" He asks. "High." I tremble feeling my eyes water. His eyes widen. "Are you crying?" He asks. "No." I say knitting my eyebrows together in anger. "You're crying." He says studying my face. I burst into tears and his eyes widen again. "What the fuck are you okay Seren?" He asks. "I'm fine oh my god i'm so tired of people asking me if i'm fucking okay." I sigh wiping my eyes. He hands me a vodka bottle. "Hey kid it's chill. I'm sorry for pushing. You can stay here if you need too. There's food in the fridge. You'll be okay." He says. "Thanks." I mumble sitting on the floor.

I wanted so badly to be in the comfort of Zane. To just be able to tell him what happened of anyone for that matter. But I couldn't. No one could ever know.

I didn't want to feel anything. I felt better when I was asleep. Where I could escape the harsh reality and not have to fucking feel a thing.

So I place another two ativan pills on my tongue and wait for the sweet effects of nothing to carelessly sweep through my system.