If Only For A Little While

Sketchbook

Levi

"Alright now who would like to tell me how to factor," I quickly scribbled a quadratic equation on the blackboard and turned to face the class, "This equation? Conny?"

"Huh?" The kid answered, dazed and confused. Most likely because he hadn't been paying attention, which was why I called on him.

"I don't repeat myself Mr. Springer," I replied, extending my hand to give him the chalk, "Hop to it."

"Aye aye sir," Conny laughed nervously as he accepted the chalk and made his way to the blackboard. He lifted his hand to write something but froze when he couldn't recall a single thing he'd just been taught. Because he hadn't been paying attention. I smirked.

"Problem Springer?"

"N-no sir," he gulped and began scribbling a mess of gibberish on the board. When he was finished writing nonsense he started to shuffle to his seat.

"Not so fast Springer, now you need to explain to the class how you got your answer." Check mate.

The kid stood frozen in place, his mouth hanging open like some sort of idiot. Which he was.

"I- uh well um I don't really know how to uh, explain it properly." He rambled quickly in an attempt to end the conversation sooner.

"Don't be shy," I ushered him over, draping an arm over his shoulder in a condescending manner. He was only a bit taller than me so I was able to do so without much difficulty.

He gulped loudly and stammered, "W-well you take the numbers and uh, add them together like, uh, like this and uh-"

"Wrong." I snapped, "Zero participation points today Springer. Let's try to pay attention tomorrow, alright?"

He nodded and beelined to his desk, bowing his head to hide his shame. I smirked and looked around for another unsuspecting victim. A familiar mop of brown hair sat stooped over his desk, furiously scribbling in an old, worn notebook. "Eren, can you tell the class how to solve this problem?"

No answer, the boy's focus stayed glued on whatever was in a that notebook. I stormed over to the brat's desk and yanked the book from under his pencil and held it in the air above my head. Eren blinked and gaped up at me, "What- wait don't-" he stuttered, leaping to his feet, suddenly a blushing mess. He reached for the book but I stepped back so it was out of his reach but he pressed forward, grabbing it from my hand and pulling sharply as he tried to regain his lost item. He was taller than me so I couldn't put it out of reach, but I was stronger so he couldn't pull it from my hand.

"What the hell has gotten into you Jaeger, sit down!" I growled.

"Give me my sketchbook," he gritted harshly. His voice held an almost desperate tone.

"I don't have to do a damn thing you say brat! Now sit down before I break your arm and sit you down myself!" I shouted, my voice echoing loudly in the stunned, silent classroom. Eren's eyes widened and his fingers slid from the book. He bowed his head, still flush with embarrassment and took a step back.

"Don't look in it," he murmured, his voice barely rising over a whisper, "It's personal."

"Sit down." I ordered, my voice oozed with malice.

"Promise you-"

"Sit the fuck down!" I roared. Eren winced and skunk back into his seat. The world around us disappeared and all I could see was his sad, vulnerable, beautiful face. I instantly regretted raising my voice at him.

But I couldn't let him know that.

I turned to my desk and dropped his notebook in my drawer. The painful silence that blanketed the space like a thick fog filled my lungs, rendering me speechless. For what felt like an eternity no one said a word. The sound of students whispering and shuffling papers served as very little substitute for the usual classroom noise.

Thank whatever God was out there that at that moment I was saved by the clanging of the school bell and my students filed out at a record breaking speed. No doubt eager to breath the air outside of my currently suffocating classroom.

With a heavy sigh I took the notebook from my drawer and flopped into my chair. Disregarding Eren's plea, I began to silently leaf through the worn pages. Page after page of beautiful, intricate doodles filled the notebook. Fairies and elves, landscapes and animals of every shape and size, and people. So many people, many who I reconized as students and teachers, most caught mid action. Yet a few I could not identify. I gasped audibly when I came to one particular drawing of a woman. her kind eyes and beautiful smile practically glowed on the page. Dark chestnut hair was swept into a ponytail that hung delicately to the side.

Carla, the nurse from the orphanage.

My heart hammered in my chest, She must have been his mother. If that was the case that meant she was dead. Sweet Nurse Jaeger had been murdered. No wonder Eren wanted revenge, anyone who could hurt someone like the woman he'd met so many years ago deserved to die as well.

I ran my hand along the drawing, Eren was an amazing artist, I never would have pegged him as the artsy type. I suppose he was full of surprises. I continued to look through the book, most of the pictures I realized were of Carla, his mother, and my heart broke but by bit for the sad broken boy.

Suddenly I came upon a sketch that knocked the air out of me. I couldn't stop staring. It was as if I was looking into a mirror. Cold silver eyes stared into my own, it was no wonder he hadn't wanted me to see. I flipped through the next few pages, all containing the same subject.

Me.

Drawing after drawing, me sitting at my desk, me sipping tea, me smoking a cigarette, me, me, me. When finally I reached the drawing he'd been sketching today in class I smiled a little.

It was a picture of me, sleeping in a pile of white linen. Graceful graphite lines formed the neat folds of fabric and the contours of my face, marred only by a harsh dark line that cut through the picture. He must have made the mark when I tore the book away from him.

I sighed sadly at the ruined art and tucked the book away into my desk.

I think I finally had my answer on how I felt about the boy. I didn't love Eren, not yet, but at the rate things were going...

I was bound to eventually.

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Okay so short chapter, I've been camping so I haven't been able to do much writing but didn't want to leave you all hanging XD

So here you all go, hopefully this will hold you all over until I get back in a week and can update again ♥︎

Thanks for reading ♥︎ I love you all.

-KarinParker