You Clicked Your Heels And Wished For Me (Ryden)

Letting Go

September 27, 2015

(Tw// death, blood, sadness, you know. It gets happy at the end though)

"Daddy?" I held his hand. His smile warmed my heart. The corners of his mouth twisted into a frown and his grip became tighter.

"You're a disgrace," he spat at me. We were at eye level with each other now. My wrists itched and I felt like I couldn't move. He ran away, slamming the door behind him. My eyes stung as I heard my mother cry out in pain. I ran to the other room where she was curled on the floor in a pool of her own blood.

"Please... find them," she gasped.

"Find whom?" I asked.

"One to love you when I can't anymore."

My eyes closed and everything faded away. When I opened my eyes again I was in a field of grass and flowers. There were no buildings or trees as far as the eye could see. Sun was beating down on me but it was just a pleasant warm.

"Darling," a soft voice spoke from behind me. I turned around, and there stood Brendon.

He reached out his hand for me to grab. I grabbed it and he started leading me through the meadow.

"It's never been about the time."

"What?" I was confused. He didn't seem to hear me and just kept walking.

"Just let go. Let go of the pain. You've been holding on for far too long. Your life is not supposed to be like this. Please let go. Your father, he never cared. He couldn't care! You will never be like him. Can't you hear me?"

I understood everything.

"My depression, it won't go away again, will it? It's part of me and I need to do what I'm meant to do. I need to let go of the past. It's been burdening me, making my life a living hell. I can't get anyone else to help me. This is my life, my story, my recovery. Life isn't always beautiful, no. But... people are. Life is just everything and everything isn't always great. So... I need to leave it."

I closed my eyes again. When they opened I was in a lobby of some sort. I had a suitcase on the floor next to the chair I was in.

"May I take your bags?" A man said to me. I glanced at him and my mind immediately was confused. He looked so familiar, I didn't even know whom he was.

"Sure..." I picked up the heavy bag and gave it to him. He beckoned for me to follow as he trekked up a spiral stair case. Before I knew it, we were on the roof. The sky was a calming shade of white. The man handed the bag to me.

"Let go," he said. I hesitantly lightened my grip on the bag. To my surprise, it floated into the air and up into the sky.

"What was in there?" I asked.

"Nothing, anymore," the man winked.

I... let go.

...................................................................................

I gasped and abruptly woke up. I was relieved to see I was in my normal room. It was still dark outside so I assumed I was the only one awake.

I climbed out of bed, my feet touching the cold wooden floor. Moonlight filtered in through the blinds on the window. I tiredly threw on a hoodie and didn't bother changing out of my sweatpants, nobody would see me anyway.

My drive to the cemetery was short and serene, as only a few people were driving at 3 am. When I arrived I was still incredibly tired but I knew what I had to do.

George Ross

I approached the tombstone with caution. I kneeled beside it and smiled at the flowers my mom had put there last time she visited Calfornia. My dad was buried in Cali because that's where he was born.

"Father, you weren't the best dad. You drank a lot and emotionally really hurt us. However, I remember looking up to you as a little kid. You loved Mother so much and I really admired that. I'm sure you're not in rest, but I want to help you. I really miss you. Even after all you did. You were an important part of my life. I l-" My voice got caught in my throat. Tears formed in my eyes and I just let them fall. I didn't care. I had to let go.

"It's time for me to let go Father. Your emotional abuse is gone from my life and I'm a better man now. Thank you for everything. I..."

"I love you."

I sniffled away my tears and stood up. I felt refreshed and significantly more satisfied than I had just a few minutes ago.

I slowly made my way back to my car. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I was so relieved.

.....................................................................................

Hey everyone! So it's been a while, sorry about that. I stopped listening to Panic! almost three years ago. I still listen occasionally but I've grown out of my emo phase. I just found this draft and thought I should upload it, but I honestly have no intention of finishing this story. I was just reading through Folkin' Around today to reminisce and it's really cringey. I honestly don't know where I was going with this sequel. If anyone really wants me to make a conclusion chapter I will but for now this is the end. 

-Samantha