Monday, October 25th, 2022
"Does this have anything to do with your past relationship with Seonghwa and Hongjoong?"
I blinked at Sonni. I didn't know what to even say.
It didn't help that it took a good 45 seconds for his words to sink in and actually make sense.
"Ha ha ha, you're so funny Sonni, hey that rhymed," I mused and smacked my thigh, but Sonni deadpanned me and I no longer had words to respond with.
"You're coming up with ways to get out of this, but know I do know. I'm aloof but I'm not stupid," Sonni reiterated, crossing his arms on the table as he looked me dead in the eyes from across the desk.
"I'm not lying," I'm just not telling you anything, "nothing-"
"Saturday, May 27th. We all had been out together with Ateez for filming. You went home but forgot your bag. I decided to drop it off to you since we live so close. I heard Seonghwa and you arguing. I was confused and was about to knock but then I heard Hongjoong. I was about to leave, despite how confused I was, until I heard Seonghwa yell loud enough. You were arguing about staying together."
I didn't even know what to say.
I remember that day clearly.
We all had been together for filming and then had a mini party at the restaurant we filmed at. Drinks were consumed, which led to Seonghwa and Hongjoong showing up at my apartment, which almost led to sex but was cockblocked by their determination to put a label on things.
I went to work on Monday and found my bag on my desk.
"I-"
"I know what I heard," Sonni murmured, leaning back and keeping his face neutral. He wasn't upset, if anything, he was upset that-
"Why didn't you tell me? You know I wouldn't have reported that."
He was upset that he was left in the dark.
Just like the rest of Ateez.
"Love is love, Cova. If anyone should know I whole heartedly believe that, it's you. And If anything, I'd have helped you hide it. After everything you did to help me hide-"
"It doesn't matter now," I muttered, also leaning back in the chair and looking at my lap, "I moved on-"
"But did you?"
My eyes snapped up to his, and a small smile played on his lips, but his eyes were curious.
"Because to me," he added, crossing his legs and looking back at the photo on his wall, a photo from the same night he heard Hongjoong, Seonghwa and I arguing. Seonghwa stood a little too close for a simple photo, and his hand ghosted my hip. If I thought hard enough, I could still feel the ghost of his touch, "it doesn't look like it."
Letting out a sigh, my mouth opened and closed but the words continued to die on my lips. I had no response.
"Tell me this," he murmured as we both looked away from the photo, "if that rule wasn't a thing at work. And you could freely date one of them, both of them, whatever it would be. Would you have started dating Yoongi?"
I paused in response.
I've asked myself that question every day since I officially ended things.
The question was clear and so was my answer. And the speed at which I answered the question in my head made me feel sick.
"No. I wouldn't have gone looking. I wouldn't be dating Yoongi," I answered quietly but confidently, "if I was able to date an idol while still working with Ateez and KQ, I would still be with them. Because I'd never have to look elsewhere."

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Cov•et - ON HIATUS- K-pop/Multi Group FF
FanfictionCurrently on hiatus. Will be finished by next year. cov·et 탐내다 /ˈkəvət/ verb/동사 •yearn to possess or have (something). •(특히 남의 물건을)탐내다, 갈망하다 "Whatever you're thinking, I'm far from it. I can't covet something that's not mine. They are their own soul...