Control (Dark Romance)

Chapter 54

Hagen's P.O.V

Stew wasn't meant to be funnelled. You were supposed to chew it. I knew that— learned it young after the first time I tried to inhale a bowl of lamb stew and Dad had to keep chopping me on the back of my neck to make me stop. That meagre training is abandoned now as Nikola slides a third bowl of stew in front of me, and there I am, five years old again and funnelling stew into my stomach.

A staggered moan crawls past the warm and spiced meat in my mouth that's so fucking good, it threatens to send me to the plains early.

"Thish is so goweod," I praise in between a gasp for air and a spoonful of the rice and peas in my mouth.

Nikola leans against the table with a soft smile that evaporates the instant his gaze lands on me, or more accurately, the calamity I'd become in my attempt to fill my stomach as quickly as possible. Only problem? I needed another two bowls before I was anywhere near full.

"I'm glad you're enjoying it," Nikola replies, his voice tight with all the disgust he's doing a real shit job of hiding.

Because my father is Julian Heil and I'm inherently slightly evil, I smile at him.

Nikola locks up all over before he hastily pushes from the counter to escape having to see the shredded bits of lamb sticking out between my teeth. Back fixed towards me, he lets himself shudder and that sets me off into a fit of chuckles that almost makes me choke.

"I'm sorry," I apologise weakly. "I couldn't help it."

"You're disgusting," Nikola declares over his shoulder, making me laugh even more as I rock in my chair. I drag my bowl a little closer in case he tries to take it away as I prepare to taunt him more. But I don't get the chance to as I find myself pausing suddenly with a new thought in mind. Somehow, Nikola senses it in an instant. Turning quickly, he fixes me with a frown, "What is it?"

Warmth pools within my chest but I force myself not to get distracted as I ask, "Does that make you uncomfortable? Like really uncomfortable?"

Nikola's frown clears in an instant. "No. I do not like it, and I wouldn't stand it with anyone else, but it's... you, so I don't mind."

"I can stop—"

"No," Nik states, cutting me off so vehemently that it makes my eyes widen slightly. "You eat how you wish. I do not want you changing for me now that you know about my autism."

"I wouldn't," I promise as I sit up a little straighter. "I just want to make sure you're comfortable with me."

Nikola's lips twitch slightly, "Then simply continue as you have always been."

I feel my lips do the same as I resist the urge to correct him on that. Before we'd stumbled into one of the castle's quiet kitchens so Nikola could feed me, we'd spoken for hours about his autism and what he understood about it so that I could understand it too.

There were things Nikola wanted to make clear were just him, and others that were influenced by his autism. Like when he'd first started trying to rekindle our friendship and he'd write me apology letters. Him writing 'I'm sorry if you feel like I have done something wrong' wasn't his autism making it harder to understand how I felt— that was just him being a dick.

On the other hand, even though he'd already told me that the reason he'd basically kicked me out his house on his birthday last year was because he'd been overwhelmed by the bond's presence in addition to the link, the reason he couldn't say everything he wanted in the moment was because when he was overwhelmed, he sometimes struggled to speak.

As we spoke, I committed every little detail I learned to memory so that I could be the perfect mate for him. Nikola said I didn't have to change, and I didn't plan to, but there were situations I now knew how to handle better, and I would.