Falling for.....

Falling for.....chapter twelve

The beach was a constant shrine of remembrance for Parker.

Skinny dipping, laughing, and sex. MIND BLOWING sex.

New to that list was fighting. I wondered to myself when I'd woken this morning if subconsciously I'd chosen the beach because it reminded me of Parker.

Deep in thought Karla ran back to me "that seemed odd you two actually fighting rather than flirting" "did it. Maybe he needed a good yelling at he bloody leaves for over a month no word. Thinking what? Kristie will keep her legs shut till I come back? Who the fuck does he think he is!" "Ok well now you've had that break down how are you feeling?" She through a wet cold arm around my shoulders in comfort.

I sighed and felt better. "Better and I really didn't mean any of it. It's just I don't know what I'm doing" "or who" she supplied making us laugh. Then sobering up Karla looked into my eyes and asked the dreaded question "who couldn't you live without?"

I didn't want to delve that deep. Not yet. Not now within minutes of Parker showing his strikingly handsome face again. "Ok ok ok doctor Phil I think that's enough for today"

We headed home nicely tanned but very dehydrated gulping glass after glass at the sink Cameron sat watching from where he'd been working spread out at the dinning table. Maybe I should have changed before my need for thirst hit.

"You're going to make your self sick. Slow down. Unless you're in a hurry" he was egging me on he'd totally know I'd freaked this morning. Really embarrassing even more so to be called out on it.

"Derrick and Karla are in their love cave. We can talk if you want?" He offered I shrugged. If things weren't defined or labeled I could continue believing whatever I wanted. Unless he wanted to talk I know I wouldn't spill my guts out first.

Not wanting to hurt him or my self I could keep quiet until the day I died. "They seem so happy together" Cameron continued talking then nodded towards Derricks bedroom "yer who would have guessed they'd get their act together at the same time" "do you think it'll last you're best friends been with a lot of guys"

Making my way over to him with a playful sneer on my face I punched his arm "like my brothers a freaking nun? Yer right. You've both gone through more than you're share of girls" "does it bother you?" I shook my head in reply and walked back over to the sink and washed my glass "one of the things I treasure most about you Kristie is you seem to see through the crap and keep your morals no matter what" it was a sweet compliment and I thought it funny that the two men I was so into were so extremely different.

Parker loved it when I didn't think to much and Cameron the opposite. "I'm not always so stuffy and serious am I?" He laughed "I didn't mean it like that. It's more like you know when to be serious and when to have fun. Your thoughtful at the right times"

"Don't you think everyone is?" "Not the perfect amount like you do. Karla partied to much now she's so serious maybe too serious" "she's serious because she cares a lot about Derrick. Stop picking on her" "she's an example of what we're talking about. It's like you always know the perfect way to act"

"I think you've been smoking a little to much bud Cameron" he laughed again and my skin tingled "I know what I know Kristie. And I don't smoke that shit anymore" shrugged I walked past him and into my room. Listening to music and putting pictures up on my wall I wondered about my parents and what advice if any they'd give me.

They'd died in a car accident when I turned eighteen and Derrick stepped up to the plate after that. We'd managed pretty well especially when Cameron moved in. Things got cleaned, meals got cooked and bills were paid. He was my guardian angel when things turned to hell or got to depressing all I had to do was see him around the house or imagine him ironing.

Big burly Cameron ironing always brought a ray of sunshine into my pit of misery. Could I live without him?

Hours must have passed and the sun faded away and I turned on my bedside lamp. Laying on my bed I looked over all the photos on my walls. So many memories.

Then in my line of sight was the window. So many memories now lie there too. I turned onto my side away from the window and tried to close my eyes and fall asleep. Baking in the sun all days was tiring work but no matter what I thought about or how many positions I lay in sleep wouldn't come.

Was it Karma for fighting with Parker? No I needed to stand up for myself. Was it because I was two doors down from an intelligent angel who snored?

Throwing the covers off me I decided I was in need of exercise frustrated with my hormones and unwilling to jump into anyone's bed again tonight.

Then again maybe I could call Denis. I giggled at the cheeky thought. I could never go there. I pulled on a skinny pair of jeans, white singlet and grey cardigan left a note then climbed out the window.

Walking, walking and walking until my feet hurt I'd done two lengths of the beach and a round trip on the pier. It was getting cold but I didn't want to head back. My head felt clearer outside near the beach.

Maybe because I didn't have to think at all. I was doing whatever I liked. Stubbing my toe on some drift wood and falling into the sand I rolled onto my back and watched the stars. Everything seemed so simplistic here.

Until I heard a bike cut its engine.