Falling for.....

Falling for.....chapter nineteen

Alls fair in love and war.

What a stupid quote. Parker didn't play fair and for the remainder of the day and night I was thinking about that kiss. The bastard. Work usually let me relax and completely distracted me from my personal life however today it was impossible.

Refusing to give in too quickly I spent the night working from home and locked in my bedroom. Door and window locked with curtains closed.

The message was clear. I wanted time.

Cameron knocked on my door and offered dinner "no thanks not hungry" "sure?" "Yer thanks though" an hour later he came back "everything alright?" "Just working" "can I see you for a second?" Taking a deep breath in then out I tried to centre myself for the influx of raging hormones.

I unlocked and opened the doors and there he stood over six foot tall dark and handsome. Dress pants and dark grey shirt. Cameron looked dreamy. "Are you thinking about what happened yesterday?"

I smiled it was sweet of him to check on me and see if it was eating at my mind. "A little bit. Why?" "I wanted to know why you've baracaded yourself in. You haven't done this since you were seventeen and that douche Rick cheated on you" "nice of you to reminded me" my smile completely gone.

He sighed and ran a hand over the back of his neck, I rarely saw Cameron stressed unless it was about his work now I felt like a terrible person.

I was terrible.

"Don't worry about it Cameron." "So why are you locked in your room?" "Because I don't want to choose anything" "anything?" He questioned with a worried look "I don't want to try this and it fails, I don't want to not try this. It could be the best thing that's ever happened to me." "Us" he corrected then let me continue

"I don't want this to ruin things with you and Derrick, we live together it works. It's always worked. You've always been like family" "I want this to work just as much as you Kristie I have the same things at stake" hearing Cameron say that soothed some of my worries.

Just hearing him talk was soothing. I could listen to him talk until the second I died.

He was in my room leaning on my door frame as I stood in front if the window. This had been what I wanted to avoid have either Cameron or Parker near my in a room.

Not that seemed to matter with either.

Getting lost in my thoughts I sat down on the window seat. "You want me to make the decision?" Cameron spoke quietly offering any solace to the problem I shook my head.

"My thoughts are still the same as last night. I love you and always will. The sex is more than amazing. You don't need to date me for us to continue having sex though" "I think I do" "are you asking me to choose?" I was in disbelief.

"I can't handle the thought of you off with Parker or anyone else if we leave it like this" knowing it was his jealousy talking though I couldn't help but feel slightly trod on. Now this was more serious of course I wouldn't sleep with Parker. Spend time with maybe but not sleep with.

Cameron seemed to be trying to read my thoughts but I kept my face blank. He had always been able to read me, get anything out of me, finish my sentences but now I wondered if that had been blinded by his jealousy.

"Do you think I would sleep with anyone given the situation we're in?" He stayed quiet for a few seconds to long. "Cameron get out" "I don't think you would but I can't put it out of my head" "get out!" He looked me in the eye apologized and left shutting the door.

Why had things become so complicated so quickly. Parker needed to stay away and so did Cameron.

I needed time to clear my head. Crazy sex one day yelling matches the next. Two guys. My life was defiantly more complicated. Whose problem was that?

Mine mine mine.

I'd brought this on myself. I shouldn't have slept with them both let alone in the same week. I needed to relax and talk to someone out side of it all. Apart from Karla I didn't trust that many people. The town was full of gossipers.

So I reasoned with myself. Between who the better catch was. God they were total opposites apart from the jealousy and mind blowing sex. Not that either trait should earn points. It came down to time I needed to think without hormones.

Parker seemed willing Cameron had just pushed too far tonight.

Did I still love Cameron? No doubt about it. The bigger question. Did I love Cameron more than Parker? Was one relationship worth sacrificing over the other?

Time will tell.