Partners In Crime (lietpol/Poliet)

Chapter 15

"Woah woah woah who is that jerk bastard sneaking in here?"

Toris internally cursed. He'd tried to be quiet entering the news crew studio but of course Lovino spotted him right away.

Toris had come to school early to try to consult Lovino to see if he knew anything about the picture being released. The news crew had been prepping for the morning announcements before Toris interrupted.

Lovino was angry at the world as usual, but this was the first time Lovino had specifically confronted Toris. The Lithuanian couldn't help but feel slightly intimidated.

"Erm, I'm Toris-"

"Yeah I know who you are but why the hell did you bust in here?"

"I came here to ask a question," Toris squeaked.

"Question-shmestion. Lovino Vargas doesn't give autographs or interviews to piss-faced bastards with bosoms."

Toris stared blankly. What had Lovino just called him?

The rest of the news crew seemed to sigh simultaneously as they awkwardly shuffled out of the room, murmuring something about Lovino 'getting into one of his outbursts again'.

They must be smart, Toris observed. Leaving the room to escape Lovino. Toris was half-tempted to do the same, but instead he swallowed hard and summoned his courage.

Toris cleared his throat. "Do you know anything about a particular picture showing up on the school news this morning?"

Lovino narrowed his eyes and raised his chin to try and match Toris's. "You damn asshole casserole what did I just tell you? No questions permitted. Boohoo now get out of here and let me do my job."

Toris gulped. He had never dealt with anyone quite like Lovino before. His heart started racing. Adrenaline started pumping through his vains. He needed to stop the picture from going public, if not for him, then for Feliks.

But how?

Maybe Toris could scare Lovino into giving him information. Lovino had to know something, right? But how to scare the Italian...

Lovino's worst nightmare would probably be... Lovino. Toris came to the conclusion rather quickly. If Lovino ever met anyone quite like himself he would probably lose his already short temper.

Toris cleared his throat, trying to think of a clever string of vulgarities to match Lovino's own,

The words came easier to Toris than he'd expected. "The hell did you just call me you damn bastard?" The Lithuanian demanded. "You look like a penis wrinkle that's about to be pissed if you don't get your head out of your ass and speak up."

Lovino's mouth dropped open. For a second he was too flustered to say anything, but he quickly composed himself and started firing colorful insults back.

"No can do, prehistoric ass licker. Don't even know what you're talking about." Lovino crossed his arms, but his furrowed eyebrows gave away his obvious enragement.

Toris licked his lips, thinking fast. "Yeah? I would beat you 'til I break your nose but I don't want to do you any favors."

Lovino's face flushed red. He spoke his next words through gritted teeth, "Get off my ass, bastard; I got off your mother's last night."

"You're more full of shit than a jar of smashed assholes. And uglier, too."

"Go lick a ball sack."

Toris grinned. He was enjoying himself way too much. "You're one to talk. You know those bouncy things? They used to be called 'jumpolines' until you stepped on one."

Lovino's nostrils flared. "Well you're about as intelligent as a pair of moist curdled panties."

"You're about as intelligent as a pair of moist curdled boxer briefs."

"Cum bubble."

"Twat waffle."

Lovino and Toris's faces were only inches apart.

Toris spoke in a low voice. "Tell me what you know about the picture."

"I don't know anything about any bastard picture," Lovino snarled.

Toris cracked his knuckles. "Donkey cock."

Lovino leaned forward a little farther. "Venomous crap-faced fuckup."

"Skanky trumpet prick."

"Dysfunctional condom!"

"Herpes eating troll!"

Lovino was fuming with rage, about to cry even. "Shut. The. Hell. Up." He growled.

"Tell me what you know about the picture."

"Toni gave me a picture!" Lovino clamped a hand over his own mouth.

Toris breathed a sigh of relief. So Lovino did had something to do with the bad touch trio's plans.

"Give it to me," Toris demanded. The Lithuanian had never been so stern or straight froward in his life.

"Give what to you?"

"The picture."

"What picture?"

"The picture that you said Toni gave you."

"I never said Toni gave me a picture."

Toris frowned. "You superhighway of dildos and crack addicted hobbit-hoes!"

Lovino held his hands up. "Okay fine you jerk bastard! I do have a photo that Toni gave me. I didn't even look at it but he said to put it on camera this morning. You want it?"

Toris thought for a long moment. Yes, he wanted to scream. Of course I want it.

Instead, Toris shook his head. "Just do me a favor and tell Toni that he broke his deal. Do what you want with the picture."

Toris turned and strutted away. As he left, he felt himself fall from his cover as Lovino and back into the mindset of poor, terrified Toris. What had he just done?

A/N: Please remember to vote if you enjoyed! Also, do me a favor and write down your favorite insult from this chapter in the comments. I'm curious. 😂