Nicotine

Chapter 11

I hated school. It didn't feel the same without Dustin or the guys throwing paper balls or saying sexual jokes to me. They had no reason to be at school since Dustin wasn't. I really wanted to finish this exam and go see him. It was Wednesday and I've seen him everyday after school so I tried to hurry and finish exams as fast as I could.

I finished the exam and turned it in quickly and left. I got into me car and drove to the hospital. Dustin was asleep and Patrick was watching TV.

"The Doctor said he could leave Saturday" Patrick said.

3 days. 3 days till he came home and where I could lay in his arms all night. I watched his chest rise and fall. He looked so innocent and sweet. I walked over and kissed his cheek. His eyes fluttered open and he smiled.

"Hey baby" he said.

"Hey Dustin"

"Can you hand me my cigarettes?" he said pointing to his bag.

"Dustin you know you cant smoke in here"

"Will you take me outside" he asked. I went and asked the nurse who brought a wheelchair. We went outside the hospital and it was a beautiful day out. I sat on a bench with Dustin beside me. He lit his cigarette. 

 "Dustin how many times am I gonna tell you that those things will kill you"

"Baby like I said they are addicting like you"

"Dustin" I said scolding him.

"How was school baby girl?"

"It was okay but I miss you and the guys picking on me" I said laughing. Dustin didnt laugh.

"You know I didn't mean any of that shit. I judged you too hard. I always thought you were a stuck up brat who never lived a little"

"Well I judged you too. I always thought you were a piece if shit, wanna be bad boy."

"Ouch" he said smiling.

"Yea..." Awkward silence.

"You know I never asked for you to be my girl?" Dustin said.

"No you didn't but I guess this is you asking?" I said smiling.

"Will you be my girlfriend love?"

"I don't know if I'm cool enough to hang out with you and your friends"

"Shut up they love you believe it or not" he said.

"Okay Howell ill be your girlfriend"

**********

Dustin's been letting me stay at his place while he's at the hospital. I've talked to my mom and told her I've been staying with a friend who was helping me study for exams. Patrick is either at his girlfriends or at the hospital, so I've been here all alone.

I was listening to music when I saw the door handle jiggle. I turned off the music and grabbed a knife from the counter and watched the door open.

It couldnt be Parker, he said he was going to be gone all day. I had my phone ready to call 911. I was terrified if it was Smith (even though Dan said the cops got a hold of him) or maybe his guys. I peeked around the corner and saw legs walking towards me. I tried not to make a sound but just then I sneezed.

I froze. I heard the footsteps coming closer to me and I held my breath.

"Riley?"

I looked up and saw Parker. It was just Parker. I let out a breath I didnt know I was holding and got up still shaking. 

"Parker what the hell are you doing here?"

"I have a key" he said holding up the key.

"Oh.. well what are you doing?"

"I had to get the stuff" he said pointing to the closet in the hallway.

"What kind of stuff?"

"Riley please, Dustin has told me not to get you involved in what we do okay" He said.

"Why do you guys sell that shit anyway"

"To make money. How else do you think Dustin has that bad looking car"

He walked in the closet and grabbed the bag and shut the door. 

"Ill see ya later" He said and left.

Later on in the night I brought Dan dinner. 

"I want a tattoo" I said when we were watching TV.

"A tattoo? You?"

"Yea I do maybe a butterfly or a flower or something that"

"You know they hurt right?"

"You have one?" I asked.

"Yea on my back" He pulled up his hospital gown and showed me his tattoo.

 It was a tiny bird with its wings spread out across his shoulder blades. It looked like a phoenix. How have I not seen this before??

"I was drunk when I got it by the way." He said with a smile.

"Why a phoenix?"

"It means rebirth. The Greeks said that the phoenix made a nest of branches. The phoenix was preparing to die. While sitting in the nest, the bird created a great deal of heat, and set itself on fire from its own heat. After three days, the phoenix emerged from its own ashes - reborn and released from the sentence of death, able to live on forever. I kinda think I was like reborn in a way or maybe I still want to be. I wanna change who I am and be better."

"Dustin..." I felt a tear go down my cheek.

"And I really love the song by Fall Out Boy."He said. I smiled and kissed him on the lips and crawled into his hospital bed. I feel asleep with his arms wrapped around me.