potato randomly half-venting?

an insight into a glass mind.

...

why are you still trying to help anyone?

because they're my friends... and i can't have them in such a state...

i HAVE to help them!

but ARE you really?

...what do you mean?

think about it.

they're all still suffering from the same issues they were without your input.

w-well, it's not like they'll go away so easily-

but shouldn't you see SOME improvement if you WERE helping?

...

exactly.

you don't help anyone with their problems.

...but what am i, then?

hmm?

if i don't help anyone, then who am i?

...nothing.

you're nothing.

you're a failure that can't help no matter how hard you try.

and if you can't save your friends...

...then i'm worthless...

exactly.

you can't save yourself, let alone anyone else.

i know.

honestly, why are you still trying?

why not just give up?

...because i know they'd miss me...

oh, right, the people you can't help...

can't make them feel any worse, right?

yeah...

hell, some of them might just come with you.

...i hope not...

so why'd you think about it?

being selfish again?

yes... i was...

so just keep this to yourself.

wh-why...?

because it's YOUR job to help others; not their job to help you.

is it...?

yes.

remember this: YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A TOOL DESIGNED TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL BETTER, BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THAT.

...

you're useless, yet also an easy tool to manipulate because even after people hurt you, you still love them.

...i know...

seriously, don't you say HE ruined you...?

yeah...

so why the FUCK do you still care about him deep down.

look, i-

I DON'T KNOW, OKAY-

I-

i've heard enough.

say it with me: what are you?

...

go on, say it!

...

a person who lacks any real identity outside of a few things, and as a result obsesses over fufilling things for the sake of feeling like they have a purpose in life - one that they CANNOT fufill no matter what.

a person who utterly detests themself for being unable to fufill their one purpose, and so mirrors the people they DO like to try to feel better about themself... but also so that they'll be loved too.

a person who cannot for the life of them stop caring about anyone no matter how much they hurt them, and all because they love people too much to abandon them and put them through their personal hell.

a person who can barely handle life, yet forces themself to pull through for the sake of their online friends, but can't help but wish they let themself free sometimes... how selfish.