His Devilish Ways (ON HOLD)

(18) The Barbcue.... Part 2

"I remembered at an early age that my mother hated me, my first memory of her was her letting my siblings eat in front of me while I wasn't allowed to eat nothing. According to my "mom" I was always a bad kid and I never deserve anything. I made good grades in school, tried to me a good girl, but it was never enough. At first she let my father come over and visit me or I would go to his house, but she stopped  that when he reduced the money he gave her, plus she didn't like that fact we had a strong bond. We moved around constantly and when he would find us we would move again, and of course it was my fault and I was punished for it. I was public enemy number one in that house, it's true that I have a brother and a sister on my mom's side. Unfortunately we never have had a close relationship because she played them against me. When my mom got angry, for any reason my brother and sister would blame me and my sister would beat me up while my brother just watched or sometime he participated by holding me down, but I didn't hold them accountable for what they did as kids because my mom taught them to do that. Now when they became older I blamed them for adding to my personal hell in that house.

When I stayed with my mom I had no protector, no one came to my defense, no one cared about me and no one loved me. Even after I left that horrid house I didn't love myself, I used to think that dirt on the ground was worth more than my own life. I never tell people what she did to me so they think I have no reason to be angry at my mom, but I do. Some of the things she did.... I never even told anyone because saying them at loud means admitting that they actually happened and it wasn't some type of sick nightmare." I said as Monica held me. The tears still streamed down my face. I only told her a very small part of what happened to me as a child.

"If you didn't have a mother as a protector you do now." Monica said quietly and she made me cry harder. This woman, who I just met has a heart of gold. I can see why Damon loves her so much.  I don't why, but there is something about her that makes me feel like I can trust her. I cried for a few more minutes and then they slowed down some. I knew I still had so much anger and emotions inside that could be crying for days. I pulled back from Monica's hold to see tears streaming down her face too.

"If you need anything, you need to talk to someone, or you need to vent just call me. Day or night it doesn't  matter." Monica said to me making me feel guilty for lying about begin with Damon.

"You don't have to do that." I protested, but she laid a hand on mine.

"You are now family, and I look out for my family and I protect my family." Monica said simply.

"I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything, but Carter?" She trailed off.

"Yes?"

"Tell Damon when your ready, only when your ready." She said my eyes widened, how she know I haven't said anything.

"I can tell by how you reacted, but that's okay. You will know when you're ready to tell him and he'll know when he's ready to tell you himself." Monica referred to our conversation.

"This conversation we just had won't leave this room, I promise." I said looking at Monica.

"I know it won't, we have to fix our faces before we walk out of the room." Monica said softly smiling at me. I laughed because I forgot. Oh how it felt so good to laugh again. Monica gave me some eye drops to clear up my red eyes and she used the drops as well. We both used a tissue to wash away the dried up tears on our face.

She squeezed my hand smiled at me, "Ready?"

I laughed, "I'm ready as I'll ever be."

We walked out the office silently and we walked into the living room people let out breaths, "She's alright." one man said who's name I couldn't remember.