I Hate Boys

Yusuf's POV

I yelled at her. I abused her. I did everything possible to push her away.
She won't let me go. Does she like me that much? Is she blinded?

I can't let her get into this. Heather will ruin her life like she did to mine.
And i know Heather wants to involve her in her illicit acts.

Astaghfirullah. Allah forgive me, please.

I'm basically torturing her to protect her. She left. We're over.

I answered my phone. Heather.

"What do you want?"
"How's my girl? She agreed to join me?"

"No. Leave her out of this." I pleaded and pleaded with her. Saba can't get herself in trouble for this. That's why I did all this.

I set myself up so Sana would think I'm cheating on her. Even at the party.
Yet, Saba always came back to me. Even when I saw exactly what happened with her and Sameer I still pretended that they were kissing and i attacked her.

I turned around and saw her. No. She needs to hate me. Stay away from me.

I said "i love you" to Heather even though she had already hung up.
Just so Saba would hear me and leave me. She doesn't believe my lie.
She's pleading. It's heartbreaking to see her like this because of me.

I'm sorry Saba but I need to keep you safe. I'm the bad guy now. I slammed my door in her face.

The situation reminded me of my parents. My dad used to treat my mom like crap and she left him. He remarried but I don't know where she is.

Mom. I miss you. I wish you would come back. I met this girl a few years ago. I used her. At first she was just an obstacle but I love her now. She's beautiful on the outside and on the inside. She makes life so carefree.

I should never have met her.
I should never have let her walk into my life.

Mom, I feel regret. I ruined her.
Often, I see myself in her. She has the same scars I have. Except,  I gave her some of those scars. I feel regret for loving her, making her love me.

And now, I'm happy she's by my side. And now I can't live without her. But i must. I finally have happiness but I must end it for her happiness.

I'm sorry Saba. But you still love me. Just bare the pain a little bit more. Until you can't take it. Until you hate me so much you'll never even think of coming back to me after Sameer tells you the truth. I did this to protect you.

Live with me for a while. And then, when you hate me, let me go. Let me leave you. Because I can't leave you without you driving me away. I can't.