Him

31: He's Not Alone On V-Day

"It's Valentine's Day Isabella! Look alive!"

I groan, rolling myself over on my small bed.

"Leave. Me. Alone."

"I'm your best friend and I love you and you sulking in your bed all day isn't healthy."

I pull my sheet down a little to give her a deadly glare but she ignores it, hoping on my bed.

"Isa, Isaiah, and I are sad to see you like this. Your hair looks matted, your eyes are baggy, your room is a mess, and you kind of smell."

"Well, maybe I could show my face if your boyfriend didn't tell Theo about that kiss at Dean's party. He's all like he's waiting for me and he wants a chance."

"Sorry, Isa!"

Isaiah shouts from the living area and I roll my eyes.

"I don't understand what your complaining about. In high school that's all you ever talked about and now it's like you want to build a fortress around you and Theo is struggling to cut down the trees. I don't get what's change."

"Hazel, I just need to be on my own for a while. I didn't break up with Dean that long ago."

"Oh please, the two of you were hardly dating."

"But that's not it."

"Do you just want him to be miserable", Isaiah asks from outside the bedroom door.

I truly don't. I hated seeing Theo upset, I hate not being able to talk to him about this, I hated the whole thing.

Part of me had wished that he kissed me and realize it was all a stupid mistake and we'd both laugh and forget about it.

But that's not the case.

It wasn't a mistake, I really liked kissing him.

"I don't want to be wrong", I reply to Isaiah and he opens the door, looking at me confused.

"What are you talking about? Wrong about what, the two of you make perfect sense."

Hazel looks at Isaiah and then me and when I don't respond, she understands exactly what I'm trying to say.

"Babe, she's talking about James", she pats my arm, "Aren't you?"

I nod, sitting up in the bed, and lean my back against the wall.

"What if he's right? What if I'm a heartbreaker, ruining guy's lives left and right. I was dating James for 3 years, that's three years that he got to know me inside and out. I don't want to ruin Theo and break his heart."

"But isn't what you're doing now worst? You're debating over the ten thousand things that could go wrong which is just going to lead to heartbreak, not just for him but for you too. I'm not saying you shouldn't take time to consider this before jumping in but don't let your doubts cloud your judgment of Theo. I know I'm Isaiah and I know we're not close but I'm just as much Theo's friend as I am yours, Isa. You deserve someone who will love you and treat you right. Not someone consumed by jealously and who questions your commitment in a relationship."

"Maybe your right but I still don't think I'm ready."

"Isabella, take it from me. Theo has been waiting for way more than the 3 years that you and James were together. He's only got so much waiting time left. If you keep pushing him away, sooner or later he'll take the hint and leave you alone. He'll sit in the background and watch you with another guy and pretend that it's okay but it won't be. That's the kind of person he is though, he would rather your happiness even if it left him bleeding to death."