Black Angel (BoyXBoy)

Chapter 27: Fated Reunion

I'm left paralyzed with the taste of Gabriel's blood on my tongue. His blood is so different from him. It's sweet and makes my body feel warm. It lights me up. This is the first time someone's blood has done this to me. For so long, it was just a form of nutrients for me. I wanted to hate it, because it was the sole reason no one ever wanted to be around me, but Gabriel's blood is sweeter than anything I've ever tasted. It make my entire body course with new-found energy. It makes me happy. For the first time drinking Vampire blood, I am able to enjoy it.

And I hate it.

I somehow find myself laying on the bench, looking unseeing at the ceiling, hating my entire existence. I just can't believe this keeps happening to me. Every time I get even the most minute bit of happiness, it's immediately--and violently--ripped away.

I love Gabriel. And I hate that I do. I'm not sure when it ever even happened. I just fell in love with him so easily. I'd like to believe that there was something that could have been there between us. That I didn't just fall in love with him purely because he's the first really cute guy I've ever really had the chance to interact with. Or at least, that's what I hoped all the way up to this point. Now I wish I would be beaten into a coma that took the last seventeen years worth of memories and blow them away. Let the breeze pick them up and carry them as far away as they can so I can never see, hear, think, feel, experience them again.

I hate Gabriel.

I hate his inability to accept me. I hate his narrow-mindedness. I hate that he looked so pained when he said goodbye. I hate that he seemed to want to hold me close when we kissed. I hate that he came to see me. I hate that he told me he loved me. I hate that he let me become his friend. I hate that he walked into Mr. Dreven's class that day.

I hate that I let myself love him.

I hate that I still love him.

Angry tears well up in my eyes and I have to press the heels of my palms into them to try and stop them from overflowing. Little good that does me. I choke a bit, not entirely sure what I am crying about. Is it a broken heart? Is it because I lost my family - in both the Orphanage and with Melody and Gabriel? Is it because of the horrific scene I saw yesterday? Or is it because, once again, my life is over. After this, there is no way I can stay. And it's not even just because I was rejected by Gabriel.

No matter what the report ends up concluding, people are going to always suspect that I killed everyone in the Orphanage. The only thing that I can do is to leave, never stay in one place too long or get close to anyone, or live in a life of seclusion, much like the fate of Six.

People know him, know what he did, and it follows him everywhere he goes like a stigma. A horrible growth upon his aura that everyone can feel. And everyone is afraid of it. I don't want to be like that. I don't want that to be my life. The last thing I want is to be compared to someone like him. Someone who used to kill people.

I've never thought about hurting people, let alone killing them. Admittedly, I did go to a dark place when Gabriel and I were fighting, but I would never actually hurt anyone. Not intentionally. But I suppose that no one leaves the house with the intention of finding someone and hurting them. Or killing them. But there are sick people in the world that do, I suppose, but I don't know.

I groan loudly, staring up at the ceiling of my holding cell. I'm done crying. I'm done being this person who doesn't know how to take care of himself. I'm done being this pathetic. No one has said it yet, but I can't be the only one that thinks my life up to this point has been pathetic. Annoyingly pathetic. I should have some gall at this point in my life right? I should be able to brush off everyone's looks and their words. I should be able to just ignore the negativity and move on with my life. I shouldn't care what this small town thinks about me. I wasn't going to spent the rest of my life here. So I shouldn't care if they think I'm a killer or not.