I don't want to need you

2:00 am

It had been a a month and 3 weeks since me and Emmett broke up. I'm not dating anyone else.

Now you could just barely see the tiniest bump on my stomach, but only if you were really looking.

I still haven't told Emmett. Nor am I planning to.

I haven't even spoken to him since... That night.

He's tried texting me and talking to me through daphne and-

My phone rings. The caller ID is <Emmett ♥️♥️> because I haven't wasted the energy to change it. I hit deny on my phone, making the ringing stop.

As I was saying, and calling me.

I put my phone down and go to sleep, even though it's only 9.

***

I wake up to the familiar sound of emmetts motorcycle coming into our drive way. I grab my phone and check the time.

It's 2 in he morning. Why the keck is Emmett here.

I go over to my window and open it to see Emmett getting off his bike. I worry if the sound woke my parents then remember that their on a cruise for their anniversary.

Emmett immediately looks up to my window. His jaw is clenched along with his fists.

"What are you doing here?" I sign.

"I need to talk to you. Come down here." Emmett signed sharply.

I shut the window and walk downstairs. I grab a jacket and put it on before walking out the front door.

"What?" I sign as I sigh.

"Bay were you seriously never going to tell me that you're pregnant with a child that's partly mine?!" He signed angrily and sharply, stepping closer to me.

I backed up a step, a bit scared,

"I-I... I was going to tell you! But then I saw you with, HER. Emmett you've hurt me too many times, and I don't want to start dating you and have this baby just to have you hurt me again and have to have you be in and out of the baby's life and whenever your in I'm just upset, so no I didn't tell you, and no I was not going to tell you, and I'm still not letting you be a part of this baby's life! Because you keep hurting me and you're going to hurt the baby!" At this point I was practically bawling.

"You have no right to not let me be a part of our baby's life!" Emmet signed angrily, walking towards me. He was seriously scaring me, so I backed up, but he kept walking towards me angrily ranting at me while I was backing up with tears streaming down my face, until I was backed against the wall. I couldn't back up any further, and Emmett was still walking towards me. I cringed and turned my head away from Emmett, raising my arms a bit. Judging by the sudden expression of sorrow, guilt and worry on Emmett's face, I assume he understood how scared I was when I put my hands up.

His features softened.

He backed up a bit so that I could come off the wall.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have got so mad. But you should have told me. I had a right to know." Emmett signed calmly.

"Ok Emmett, maybe I should have told you. But if I had a second chance, I would make the same decision, and I still feel the same way."

Emmetts face dropped.

"Ok. First we need to talk about the prior situation." He signed.

"Let's go up t my room. Its freezing out here." I said walking inside Emmett followed.

Once we reached my room, I sat on my bed, and Emmett followed.

"Ok Emmett. You cheated on me with Simone. Then you broke up with me because you couldn't understand that I didn't cheat. Then, you cheated on me with Simone. Again. And I forgave you the last two times. But this time, it's different. You promised me the last two times you wouldn't hurt me again. But look what happened!" As soon as I started talking the tears returned to my eyes.

"Ok let me explain that night. Simone showed up at my apartment randomly. When I asked her what she was doing she said she wanted to catch up with me, I told her that might not be such a good idea, and she walked past me. She went to the kitchen and I followed her, not trusting her. Then she turned towards me and started walking towards me, so I backed up, until we were in the living room. Then she told me she knew I wanted to "have a little fun with her again". Then she kissed me. And I was too shocked to do anything. And I accidentally kissed back. And bay, I'm so, so, so sorry. I'm so stupid and I shouldn't have kissed back, I should have pulled away. I made her leave right after you left, I swear." Emmett poured his heart out. He really did seem sorry.

"Emmett you don't just accidentally kiss someone." I sign, it being all I can think of in response.

"I don't know how to explain it. It just happened. I wish it didn't, but it did." Emmett signed sadly.

I already forgive him. I'm still a bit sad and mad but I do forgive him.

"Ok, now let's talk about the subject you came here to talk about." I sign, quickly changing subjects.

"I want to date you again, and I want to be a part of the baby's life." Emmett signed.

"I don think I can date you, I mean you keep breaking my heart, and I hate it, it's miserable, then somehow you just pick up the pieces and put them back together, then you break it again. And judging by the cycle, if I date you again, you'll break my heart again. Maybe permanently this time, cus each time I break, I break worse than the time before. And I swear Emmett, this time, it almost destroyed me."

Emmett looked like he was at a loss for words. I do want Emmett in my life, so much. I need him. I want to date him. But i can't rely on Emmett so much anymore. If at all. I don't want to fall apart again. It hurts, so much, every time. Every single time.