I don't want to need you

Hospitals and fights

I run to the toilet and throw up. I brush my teeth and rinse my mouth out.

I go back into my room to see Emmett peacefully sleeping on my bed, where we both ended up falling asleep last night.

I lay back down and he reaches out and pulls me into his chest.

I relish in the warmth.

Me and Emmett still aren't dating yet.

I forgive him, but I'm not dating him again.

I don't even know if I'm positive I want him in the baby's life.

But I know he's going to be. Whether I like it or not.

Unless I leave. I could do that. I can raise this baby on my own. I could just go. Now.

No. That's stupid. It's a bad decision for the baby. I'll need help.

Emmetts eyes open and he smiles at me.

"I have a doctors appointment today. Do you... Wanna come?" I ask.

He smiles so wide if looks like his face is gonna break. I can help but smile back.

"I'd love to!" He signs.

*************************************

I walk into the doctors office, Emmett following close behind.

"So this is the father?" She asks.

I interpret for Emmett as she speaks, and he nods.

"You two look pretty young. Are you even married?" The nurse asks, judgmentally.

Emmett looks pissed.

He starts sighting and I quickly try to interpret for the nurse.

"You have no right to judge us. That's not your job. It's none of your business how old we are or if we're married. Just do your job. Your real job."

The nurse looks down and gets back to the check up part.

The doctor comes on as I sit on the bed nervously. He wheels a monitor and little wand thing and a bottle of gel.

"Could you lean back please. This will only take a moment."

I lean back and lift my shirt so that my stomach is exposed. Emmett hold my hand.

He puts a bit of the cold blue gel on my stomach and rubs it around with the wand.

I look up on the screen and you can make out a little baby, barely.

The doctor wipes off the gel and turns back to us.

"Everything looks healthy. I'm not able to tell if it's a boy or girl yet, but I should be able to in about 2 weeks. Would you like to schedule an appointment for then?" The doctor says as I interpret.

"Yes please. Thank you." I speak and sign. Emmett signs thank you and we quickly schedule an appointment and I pay with my moms credit card that she gave me so I could go 'shopping' before leaving.

*************************************

Emmet dropped me off at home before leaving. I went inside and gave my mom her credit card.

"Thank you mom." I said.

"Your welcome sweetie, but, where are the shopping bags?" She eyed me suspiciously.

"Oh, I uh, there wasn't really anything I liked and I didn't really feel up to shopping." I lie. She nods her head dismissively. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Mm, I'm hungry... Do we have macaroni and cheese?" I say, suddenly largely craving the food.

"Umm, I think so, in the cabinet." My mom replies. I rush over to the cabinet and search it until I find some. I grab two boxes and start following the instructions on the box.

Once it's made I add some ketchup and sit down at the table.

"What in the world? Who eats ketchup on their Mac and cheese?" My mom asks as she looks into my big bowl.

"Me." I reply, rolling my eyes.

"Strange. I've only ever seen one other person do that, and she was pregnant so it was more understandable." My mom voiced her thoughts.

I almost choked on my food.

"Oh, uhh, ya. I'm going upstairs." I quickly said.

I stood and grabbed my food but my mom stopped me.

"Honey are you sure your feeling alright?" She asked, concern lacing her voice.

"Ya mom, I'm fine." I rushed out the words before running upstairs.

I'm being too obvious.

*************************************

I sat on the couch on emmetts apartment facing him.

"So how is this gonna work?" He signed.

"I have no idea. I don't want to trade the baby off weekly or something. That'd just be stressful." I signed as I sighed.

"You could move in with me." Emmett suggested.

"Emmett, we're not dating."

"Well don't you think it will be stressful for the baby if it's parents aren't together?"

"Emmett- that- you- yes. But, I'm just not ready to get back in a relationship with you and I'm not sure if I ever will be!"

"Please bay!? I need you. And you know that wasn't my fault. She kissed me."

"But you kissed back!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Sorry isn't good enough! You still did it! And I can't get over that! And I'm not gonna be with someone who I feel like I can trust!"

"Bay you can trust me!"

"How do I know that?! What if I had just decided to leave my phone? What would have happened then Emmett?!"

"I would have pushed her off and made her leave! Why can't you just trust me?!"

"Well it's not that easy to trust anyone when you've had your heart broken so many times!"

"Bay I'm sorry and you know that! Please! Just give me another chance!"

"How many chances will I have to give you Emmett!?"

"Just one more!"

"That's what you always say!" I stand up and start pacing in frustration.

"Bay. I'm so so so sorry. Please take me back."

"No Emmett." I walk out the door, giving up for tonight.