Suicide ↠ Kellic

Kellin

Edited

[ K E L L I N ]

"Mr Bostwick, you will begin your attendance at St Johns tomorrow, will we decide the length of your stay when we find out the speed of your recovery, I suggest you go home and pack your things, I'll ring you father and let him know." Dr Carter informed me, I nodded, pretending that it was fine, the same fake smile on my face I had spent years mastering.

"See you later, Doc," I spoke, smiling sadly before leaving the hospital room and entering the main entrance. I signed out and began heading towards the exit, but before I could, a familiar face came into view, the long haired boy who burst into my room, Vic, I think he said his name was. He looked at me so I smiled at him, his cheeks reddened and he looked away, but faced me a second later and smiled. I waved before leaving the hospital. The train wasn't far away and I doubt my father would come and pick me up, so I walked towards the subway and boarded the train. As per usual there was no seats.

When I eventually made it back home I grabbed a bag and threw a couple of necessities from the list that St Johns gave me into a bag. I wasn't told anything about St Johns, only that a car would pick me up from here at 9 in the morning.

The door slammed, making me jump, I shoved the bag under my bed.

"Kellin?" My mother shouted. She didn't sound angry for once. "Kellin!" In fact she sounded... upset?

I stumbled downstairs and saw my mother sat on the sofa, that wasn't unusual, except, something wasn't right, she was crying.

"Mom?" I whispered, confused, scared even.

"Kellin, fuck Kellin, what have I done?" She sobbed, no matter what she had done to me, it hurt to see her cry. It wasn't always like this. When I was young she was the best Mom anyone could have, slipping me ice cream after my Father had yelled at me, taking me for days out to take me away from my dad, then one day it changed. I came out. I told her I was gay. She ignored me at first, then when my dad found me kissing a guy, he flipped and hit me, the guy got scared and left, my mom yelled at me and began calling me names and laughing at me, she watched my own father beat me up, his own son, and didn't try to stop it.

"Mom, what's wrong?" Nervously, I sat down beside her, hoping she wouldn't yell at me.

"Everything," she cried "I don't deserve to be alive. I'm a horrible mother. What have I done. Kellin. I'm so sorry. So so sorry."

That kind of hit me. Like a ton of bricks. She apologised.

"I don't know what to say." I whispered.

"Don't say anything, and please don't forgive me, I don't deserve to be forgiven. Not after what I've done. It's my fault you've been admitted into St Johns. Please, Kellin, please don't forgive me until I've earned it, if I ever do that." She frowned and cried more.

"I love you, mom." I felt a few tears slip down my face, and I let out a small sob followed by a hiccup. I don't care if she doesn't love me. I love her. She's my mom, she gave me life, she nurtured me into a child.

"I love you, Kellin." She spoke sincerely, "I want you to have this." She pulled a black fabric necklace from her pocket, it had a small diamond charm, a small boy holding the hand of an older woman, like mother and son.

"It's something I got you when you were younger, it reminded me of you." She smiled before bursting into another set of tears.

"Oh god, I love you so much, Kell." She said, sadly.

"I love you mom." I whispered, smiling at the fact she'd called me 'Kell'

"Your dad will be home any minute, I better go." She hugged me sadly and walked out the door.

Leaving me completely lost and confused at what just happened. I was so lost in thought I didn't hear my father enter.

"THAT SLUT FUCKING CHEATED ON ME." My father screamed, making me jump of the sofa and brace myself.

"ITS YOUR FAULT, IF YOU WEREN'T PUT IN HOSPITAL THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!"

He took large strides over to me and hit me in the face, he swung back hit fist and hit me again.

"STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF AND SORT YOR LIFE OUT. YOU'RE A FUCKED UP, ATTENTION SEEKING CUNT. IF YOUR MOTHER DIDN'T FEEL SO SORRY FOR YOU SHE'D STILL BE BY MY SIDE INSTEAD OF BEING WITH SOME RICH MAN!"

"Get to your fucking room, I can't stand to see your mangled face anymore," He spat, disgusted "fucking gay boy, you don't deserve the name Bostwick."