Experiment Erudite (A Divergent Story)

Chapter 15-Anxiety

I wake up in a small room with only a small blue bed in one corner. I instantly can assume where I am. I look at the ceiling and expect a camera, and sure enough, one sits high in the corner opposite to the bed. My gaze moves to the heavy looking metal door. Outside, is a Dauntless woman guarding me. I know that I can't get out of this prison. I turn around to look at a small window made of a sturdy plastic. Ahead is the city, and even farther is the horizon. There's no sun yet, but there is light. I decide to observe the view since it is all that I have left to do.

 It's the crack of dawn when the door jolts open and I swerve around suddenly to face the guard. "Come on!" The Dauntless woman orders slowly. She must be exhausted. I sigh in my head and walk towards her. When I'm near, she grips my arm with force and holds it tightly. The woman leads me out of the room and around various hallways that I begin to track. Left, right, left, left, right. After multiple corridors, we arrive in front of two large metallic doors. I try to stop as the guard leads me inward. I don't want to go. Part of being Jeanine's stepdaughter meant that I had to withstand being witness to the horrors in her lab.

I begin to thrash my held arms as the set of double doors gets nearer. I can feel tears on the verge of coming out. Tears that haven't been felt in ages. I scream in frustration. I can't seem to fight the Dauntless woman, but I am delaying her. At my cry, Jeanine bursts through the set of doors. She looks at the situation, and then nods at the guard. I can't see the concern on the Dauntless woman's face, but I suddenly meet the cold ground. Realizing that I am no longer in the guard's grip, I try to quickly scramble to my feet.

Jeanine looks at me coldly before embracing me and then luring me to the laboratory. I stop though and face Jeanine with tears streaming down my face. I can't see her-my vision is blurred by my tears, but I try to use it to my advantage. "Please," I desperately start, even though I know that, that alone is not persuasive enough. I cling to Jeanine like a child does to their mother, even though I'm sixteen. "I'll be loyal to you. I'll go back to Erudite if you want me to. I will follow all of your commands, just please!- don't run tests on me," I quickly beg, nudging into her. There's no response. I try to continue. "I'm sorry for leaving.  Please don't do this to me," I whisper as I cry. My heart feels like it is slowly shattering. More tears slip out of my eyes. I try not to get any on her clothes-I know that it would just make her upset if I did.

 I can't express my fear enough. My heart hammers in my chest- so much so, that I think that even Jeanine can feel it. She doesn't hug me back, but instead strokes my back with one hand. After what only seems like forever, she stops. Suddenly the guard grabs me away from her and throws me onto the cold table in the center of the room. I put my hands to my face to cry more until the Dauntless woman tears them from their spot and straps my wrists to the table. They feel painfully tight, but I have to endure it. I sob more until I suddenly find that I can't breathe normally. Instead, my breaths are rapid and my heart races. I look up and hear Jeanine rummaging rapidly through a cabinet full of various serums.

"Leave," She orders the guard, and I hear the metal doors swing shut, probably marking my official suffering. I look at Jeanine as she quickly grabs a box of tissues and takes the serum. Soon she swings to me on her swivel chair and places the serum and tissues on a metal table beside her. "Oh no," She mutters to herself. I stifle my breaths to avoid being loud, but the anxiety in me fights to get out. I whimper and avoid Jeanine's gaze. I hear a loud sigh from her. "You said that you would listen to me," She starts, putting her hand on my chest. "Now inhale, slowly," She instructs carefully. I want to say that I can't, but I can't even talk at all. I try to exhale my breath before inhaling choppily. "Hold it," She whispers, lightly keeping her hand on my chest. I hold my breath, and the anxiety punches out as it tries to get out of me. "Ok... now exhale," Jeanine gently says after a few seconds. I let out my breath with a quick huff. We try the routine four more times, but I can't calm down. Just the fact that I am in the room makes me panic!

 Jeanine unstraps my right arm and gives me a tissue as I fight for breath. I take it and wipe my wet eyes and drippy nose. When she sees that I'm moderately cleaned up, she takes away the dirty tissue and places it on the table. Jeanine hands me another one. She sighs again as she looks at me, deep in thought while holding my left hand. I wipe away more tears from my face. Jeanine watches me for a long time, until noticing the tattoo on my right arm. She lifts my sleeve to observe it more, wondering what it could possibly signify. At first I make a noticeable flinch when she touches me. We make eye contact before Jeanine returns her attention to the tattoo. She doesn't ask what it signifies. I stare at her relaxed face, and after some time, find it easier to breathe. Jeanine notices the change and takes a look at me. When she does though, I glance at the lab coat that she wears and soon feel my throat constrict and my palms grow sweaty. Jeanine obviously feels the sweat and quickly takes the syringe and stabs it into my arm. Pushing the serum into me, I suddenly grow relaxed. Why didn't Jeanine use this sooner? Was she really looking at my tattoo, or figuring out my veins?

I close my eyes and feel exhausted. Soon I feel the needle draws out of my skin and Jeanine leans towards me. "I won't do anything today," She informs in a whisper. For a split second, I think that Jeanine will plant a kiss on my forehead, but it never happens. I do however, feel fingers brush through the strands of my hair as I drift into a satisfied sleep.