Edward's struggle

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Lying in the soft snow with Edward made me think more about myself. Vampires were cold to the touch; I was warm. I did not feel the cold though, but I could still blush. My family could not smell my blood except for if I was cut, but I had tough skin like a vampire. One time Carlisle did an experiment, and finally managed to cut me. The smell of my blood repulsed him, and Edward said it tasted like acid.

The sky we were looking at was dark, cloudless, a perfect starry night. Some stars glowed blue while others were yellow or red. I could see each individual star in small clusters with my heightened sight. I looked at the sky and I envied Rosalie, Esme, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle and Edward. Although only faintly, they could remember a time when they were not like this, when they were human. Alice could not remember, but she was human at one point. Whereas I have always been like this; not vampire, but not human, no one knows what I am.

“it doesn’t matter what you are Eva, we all love you the way you are” Edward sighed.

“but can you not see how frustrating it is” I breathed turning my head to face him.

“getting annoyed about it isn’t suddenly going to give you an answer” he smiled at me and I nodded.

“any closer to forgetting her face” I asked him.

“no, it’s been six days and it is still as if it was six seconds ago” he moaned closing his eyes.

“did you seriously just do that” his eyes flew open and I gave him a smirk. I had just chucked a load of snow over him, and I made it a split second decision so he had no warning by reading my mind.

“I have had enough moping, play with me” I moaned standing up.

‘this should be interesting’ he smiled and also stood up.

Tanya came into the clearing as he was dusting himself off. She has been making moves on him the whole time we have been here and he was a little uncomfortable with that. He was a gentleman and didn’t want to make her feel bad, but he didn’t like her in that way.

“I’m going for a run” I muttered and he glared at me as I left him alone with her.

“Eva” someone shouted and I stopped in my tracks and turned around to face them.

“Kate” I smiled at her and she walked over to me.

“how much longer our you and Edward staying” she asked as we walked the forest rather than run it.

“Edward is in complete control of all of this, I am merely the tag along” I shrugged.

“why do you do that” she asked and we stopped walking.

“what” I frowned.

“tag along with Edward. Surely your connection to Carlisle is stronger... two centuries stronger” she mused.

“I have to look out for him” I answered cryptically.

“do you love him” she asked.

“not in the way you are thinking” I corrected as I could read her thoughts about unrequited romantic love.

“I will not hide the fact I do not understand your relationship with him, seeing as you can read it from my mind” she smiled at me.

“I do not blame you, it is a complicated one... you just need to know that Edward is not my mate, never has been and never will be. We are just close friends, brother and sister, we love each other, but we are not in love with each other” I explained.

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