Ending Innocence (boyxboy)

Chapter Two

“The single best thing about coming out of the closet is that nobody can insult you by telling you what you've just told them.” 

― Rachel Maddow

Caden’s POV.

I don’t remember feeling this way about anyone before. I especially don’t remember losing my heart before. It’s what happens though. I’m not able to stop the inevitable. Something as simple as walking into a classroom and looking at someone changes my life forever. I know it the moment I look down and my eyes lock on his. Something about the way my stomach and heart react at the same time tells me I’ve just met someone special. The way he looks at me when I don’t move. His kissable lips curl into a look I can’t identify and his eyes stare blankly back at me. It’s then I remember dad told me about the new kid, Luca. That must be him.

I’m not sure how long I stand there just looking at him. It can’t be that long because no one says anything. Mr. Richards doesn’t even look at me really. He’s kind of an old grouch as dad puts it. He’s an alright guy, but I don’t think he really enjoys being a teacher. I turn my attention back to Luca. Dad told me about him, but goddamn it. He never told me he looks like a Greek God that could tempt the pope. I swallow a growing lump in my throat and inch a bit closer. His eyes leave mine almost like I don’t want them there, or at least that’s what he thinks.

Nothing could be further from the truth. In some ways I want him to look away, the part that wishes I were straight. But the other part, the part that always wanted someone to come along and make me react, that part wants him to look at me forever. I know I’m gay, I’ve jacked off thinking about guys, but the way I react to him is different. My body and mind react at the same time. Even my heart feels different, but I don’t want to think about why my heart reacts to him. I’ve never been in love before, but I know what people say about being in love and it can’t be that. We haven’t even spoken yet.

I don’t notice his scar until I’m sitting beside him. The shape and length makes me think it was done by someone who really hated him. I resist the urge to trace it and kiss it better. Every time he looks down I want to run my fingers over the scarred flesh or to kiss it and make him better. The redness around it does not go unnoticed either. He was burnt at some point in his life. It would take a lot of aggression to get a scar on someone to look like that. His face is almost covered by the scar.

Our conversation is led by me. He does not talk much, but when he does his voice is so soft and velvety. I’m not going to call it feminine because like his appearance it’s unique. They are soft, his voice and his appearance, but not feminine. It’s almost like he has created a softness of his own, one that is clearly male but is unlike anything I have ever heard or seen before. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t speak much or look up. It would be nice if he would just look up more. Even though I know that if he did, I would freak out and panic. I would worry that someone could see me looking at him like a love sick puppy. It doesn’t stop my heart from clenching tough.

I spend most of the day trying to coax him out of his shell. Sometimes he speaks quietly, other times he just nods or shakes his head. It drives me mad but at the same time my mind rejoices at the thought of having to win him over. It wants him to want me as much as I want and crave him. The fact he’s gay doesn’t make any difference, I might not be his type and I’m not even out. But my heart still aches in my chest when I consider not having him around. After only a few hours I imagine us as a couple, together and in love. It’s ridiculous after such a short period of time.

The more the day passes the more damage reveals itself. He’s nice to Ty and even speaks a couple of times. Jaxon ruins that though. He’s the biggest ass in the school and I notice the way he looks at Luca. It’s like he’s done something wrong by being there. He asks him to blow the football team. Even the thought of Luca being with any of the guys makes me see red. I’m already possessive over him. It’s not normal and yet I don’t want it to end. Maybe I’m lonely or maybe it’s the excitement of meeting someone who’s gay as well, but I don’t want this to be it.