Ending Innocence (boyxboy)

Chapter Seventeen

Someones the broken people of the world turn out to be the strongest.

Caden’s POV.

A sleeping Luca is one of the cutest things I have ever seen. His face is more relaxed than I’ve ever seen it. And considering the day he had yesterday, it really is a miracle. I don’t know how he does it, but he is one of the strongest people I have ever met. Staying strong for his sister like that, making sure she was okay before he lost it. That was some impressive shit, especially when I think about what I would have done. My reaction would not have been as good. I probably would have lost it right there, but Luca’s… different. He thinks of others before himself. His heart is one of the biggest I have ever seen, and he happens to be the most beautiful sight in the whole world.

I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve him, but having him here – lying in my arms – is the best thing ever. I don’t think I could live without him. It’s like he completes me. From the way his whole face lights up when he smiles, to the sadness in his eyes most of the time. Nothing about him is fake. It’s not a normal thing for people. Most of the people I know are fake in some way. Like Beth, she thinks by pretending to be some bible-thumping do-gooder, that she’s fooling. But even the people from her church know she a slut. I don’t think it’s very hard to figure out anyway. She’s always parading around in short skirts and low cut top.

A small sound comes from Luca’s perfect mouth. It sounds like a sob that was cut short by something. I pull him close and hold his body. I hate that his demons can creep up on him in his dreams. The way he can go from sleeping happily to sobbing isn’t something I really want to think about. Although he’s covered up from the neck down, I already imagine what his body looks like underneath the clothes. Not that I would look without his permission. Him showing me those pictures was enough. I know he trusts me, and that in time, he will be more willing to show me what he looks like without covering up every visible inch of skin below his neck. Hopefully, when that time comes, he won’t freak out too much. More than anything, I want him comfortable in his own skin.

It’s so easy to watch him sleep, but I do have the impulse to wake him up and kiss him. I know I have to fight the urge – especially if I want him to feel better. He doesn’t sleep enough. Even I can tell that from looking at him. His eyes always have dark circles around them. Sometimes I see him struggle to stay away. And in the hospital, it became more obvious. It must be nightmares, because it makes a whole lot of sense. If I had the past he does, I’m pretty sure I would never sleep.

Luca’s eyes twitch, and then he starts blinking owlishly. He looks absolutely adorable doing so. When he sees me, his gorgeous mouth curves into a pretty little smile. “Morning,” he whispers and then his face scrunches together.

Leaning forward, I kiss the strained look off his face. “Hey, it’s okay,” I say softly. “I’m here. You don’t have to worry anymore.”

“I’m so scared. So damn scared.” His voice is oh so soft. I almost don’t hear him.

Without thinking, I pull him into a big bear hug, crushing him to my chest. He rests his head in the crook of my neck. I try to soothe him. Saying everything I can to help him. But my words will never be much good. I’m not the cleverest or the nicest. I do love him, though, and that’s what really matters when it comes to shit like this. I hope it will be enough, anyway, but when it comes to being there for someone. It’s always hard to get it right. And this is the one thing that I want to get right; I need to get it right. Luca deserves to have someone who can look after him properly. He deserves a boyfriend who will love and adore him as well as protect him from all the bad people in the world.

“I love you, Caden. I love you so much,” he whispers into my chest.

Pleased, I pepper his face with kisses. Wanting to prove to him how much him telling me really means. I think, sometimes, if he didn’t know, he wouldn’t say the words. Sometimes I think I’m dreaming when he tells me. It’s really is like a dream come true. His brown eyes shine with tears, and his mouth curls in a shy smile. Tears are replaced with guilt at the small gesture, and I kiss him all over again. Hate isn’t a strong enough word to describe how much I despise seeing guilt in his eyes.