Ending Innocence (boyxboy)

Chapter Thirteen

Sometimes our healing begins with a small gesture. Other times, it takes a huge leap and a lot of love.

Luca’s POV.

The words bubble on my tongue. The song Caden has playing in the background is so… fitting to how I feel. It feels strange, I admit, to feel like this again. I don’t know how to cope with all the emotions inside me. Caden. Well, he is one of the reasons I feel like this again. But it’s everyone. My family and the people I can call my friends. It’s something I’ve never had before and I find it hard to adjust to thinking like this. Subconsciously, I know that this is the healthier way to be. To feel. But I also know its emotional overload. I can’t really concentrate.

Feelings are just too much to handle, yet I feel more alive than I have in years. Feeling something for Caden, it’s different. It’s not familial love, like what I feel for mamma and Dante, Aria or anyone else in my family. This is true, romantic, passionate love. It’s not stronger, per say. It’s just different. I don’t love him because I have to; it’s not something I was born doing. This is a love that developed over a few months. It’s grown and strengthened. It’s still intense and real. But it’s also pure. I love him with my whole heart and soul.

“I love you Caden Hayes.”

My voice is a quiet, rasp, barely there. But I can hear it. It sounds very weak to my ears.

The words roll off the tip of my tongue as if they were meant to be. I hear rustling and then fingers brush my brow. Caden’s voice becomes distant, but I can still hear him. Hands grab at my arms and legs, something cold presses against my skin. I don’t want these people. I don’t want the voices coming from strangers. I just want to hear Caden. A frightened whimper tears from my mouth and suddenly, as if he’s programed to help me. Caden’s soft voice starts murmuring in my ear.

“Shh. I’m here. I’m here, Luca. No need to get upset. Just let the doctors do their thing and we can be alone soon enough.”

Instinctively, my head turns to his. He keeps murmuring calming, soothing, words into my ear. Brining me comfort in my time of need.

“I’m here, sweetheart. Don’t worry about a thing. Just relax.”

His voice is rough almost like he’s been crying. “No. Don’t move now. You have to preserve your energy for getting better. I’m here. We’ll call your mom in a minute and she’ll bring everyone here. Just stay still until they can make you more comfortable.”

I don’t even feel myself move. Isn’t that a bad sign? I can feel them poking and prodding me, but nothing else. Well, I can feel my heart beat through my chest and I can smell and hear. Mamma? He’s going to call her? She’ll see me like this? It’s going to break their hearts. I don’t want them to see me like this, like someone who’s really not doing great. I cry out and a finger stops the sound. Caden’s finger. I don’t know why I can’t hear him anymore.

“Shh. Go to sleep for a while. You need your rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.” His words settle me and I feel myself relaxing back into the bed. Everything is sore. But apart from that, I’m so confused. I feel so lost, alone, even. I know I have him here with me and I know my family is coming. So, why do I feel like this? It’s… I can’t describe how weak I feel. Something pricks my arm and I feel sleepy. Very sleepy and groggy. The words fade into the background, but I try to cling on. But I lose the battle.

“Hey, Pooh bear,” a voice says when I finally come to again. Slowly, as if someone had glued them shut, I open my eyes.

Dante towers over me, his face stretched into a big grin. Mamma and Aria are standing slightly behind him. Reaching out, I grab his hand and hug it. I don’t even stop when I realise how childish it looks. I feel small. But having them here, looking at me with all the smiles they are, is amazing. I realise, for the first time in my conscious state, that they really love me and don’t want me to change. They don’t want me to die.