Mute » 1D

Chapter 45

Chapter 45


Kashine


As I ate breakfast, I avoided Harry's gaze as much as possible, which wasn't very hard. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him staring at me intently, but when I glanced over he quickly looked away. What's with him?

The other boys, on the other hand, were as chipper as usual. "How was the Ferris wheel?" Louis asked excitedly. And just as obnoxious.

I sighed. "For the third time," I said. "It was fine."

"But was it better than fine?" he pried, wiggling his eyebrows. "You won't answer me that."

I glared at him in irritation. "We went on the Ferris wheel, talked, and came back down," I snapped. "That's it."

He raised his eyebrows. "Touchy, touchy," he muttered.

I sighed again. "Look, I'm sorry," I apologized. "I'm just really tired. We were up late last night."

"Doing what?" he snickered.

I glared at him again. "One more word out of you and I'm going into full-out cuss mode," I scowled.

He rolled his eyes. "That's probably the one disadvantage of you talking," he said.

"Oh, shut it, Louis," Zayn said. "Can't you see you're making her uncomfortable?"

"Thank you, Zayn," I said pleasantly.

"But you would tell me, right?" he asked me and I face-palmed. He's just doing that to annoy me.

"Hey, Niall, can we talk?" Harry asked randomly.

"See, he's telling Niall," Zayn said. "Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"Shut up, Zayn," Harry ordered. "That's not what I need to talk to Niall about."

"Sure it isn't," four voices muttered.

"Shut it!" Harry snapped and nearly dragged Niall away, not waiting for his consent.

The boys stared after them. "I bet you twenty bucks I know what they're talking about," they all said at the same time.

"Okay," Louis said haughtily. "Twenty bucks says Harry's telling Niall he had sex with a certain someone last night."

"You?" I suggested. I couldn't help myself; he was getting on my nerves.

He rolled his eyes. "Haha," he said sarcastically.

"Twenty bucks says he's telling Niall about his whole date," Zayn piped up.

"It wasn't a date!" I cried, but of course they didn't listen.

"And twenty bucks says Harry's telling Niall he loves Kashine," Liam smirked.

"Kashine, go check," Louis told me.

I scoffed. "Why me?" I demanded.

"Because if one of us goes," he pointed out. "We'll try to back out of the bet if we lose. So go."

I narrowed my eyes. "What do I get out of this?" I asked.

"Knowledge," he replied solemnly and I rolled my eyes. "Now go before it's too late!" He pushed me towards the kitchen exit, and I unwillingly walked away.

Now, where would Niall and Harry want to talk privately? Probably one of their rooms, or.... If they were smart, they would know immediately those are the first places a person would look. So maybe a closet.... OR a place a person wouldn't suspect at all. But first, I decided to check their rooms.

I checked Niall's first: no one there. Then I tried Harry's: I heard voices. So apparently they weren't that smart. Well, what could you expect from One Direction?

I pressed my ear against the door to listen in on them. I bet twenty bucks they're all wrong.

"So, what's up, mate?" Niall asked. "And why do you want to talk to me of all people? No offense to myself."

"I know Louis would bug me about it until my grave," Harry explained. "And Zayn would probably tell Kashine right on sight."

I stiffened. So they WERE talking about me.

"And Liam's a great guy and all," Harry continued. "But I don't think he would be very helpful in this kind of situation. Not like you, anyway."

"That's nice to know," Niall said, sounding pleased. "Okay, so what is this all about?"

I heard Harry take a deep breath. "Well," he muttered. "It's kind of embarrassing. Promise me you won't tell anybody? ESPECIALLY Kashine?"

I raised my eyebrows. Wow, this was serious.

"Promise," Niall said.

"Cross your heart, hope to die. Stick a needle in your eye," Harry insisted.

"Yes, all that crap."

"Promise on the holy stack of Bibles?"

"Seriously? Fine, I--"

"Promise on your mother's grave?"

"Harry!" Niall shouted. "My mother is alive! And didn't you hear me?! I promised like three times now!"

Harry sighed. "Right, sorry," he muttered. "Okay...."

"Any day now," Niall said impatiently.

"I like Kashine!" Harry blurted out.

My heart literally froze. I hoped he meant that in the way I was thinking....

"No, duh," Niall said sarcastically. "We all like Kashine. She's awesome."

For a moment, I worried that when he said that he meant EVERYBODY liked me in that way. But then I realized he meant just as friends. Thank goodness for that. I'll explain later.

"No, not like that," Harry said. "I mean... I think I might... love her?"

It came out like a question. I clapped a hand over my mouth to hide my gasp. I guess Liam got his twenty bucks after all. But the conversation was still young.

"Whoa, seriously?" Niall said, sounding shocked. "Love her?!"

"Well," Harry said quickly, sounding like he was making excuses. "Last night was one of the best I'd ever had. And--remember that you promised to tell nobody--I kissed her, and the feeling I got was the best in the world. I really, really do like her."

"Then what are you waiting for?" Niall asked excitedly. "Ask her out! Who can resist the Harry Styles?"

My breath caught. Please no....

"I don't want it to be like that," Harry protested. "I mean, I don't want her to date me just because I'm famous. I want her to like me for who I am."

"And you are a good person," Niall insisted. "Kashine would be stupid not to realize that." I winced. "I guarantee that she'll say yes," he added confidently.

"Really?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Oh yeah," Niall said. "I think she likes you a lot too."

For the first time I realized I was chewing my fingernails. The results were not pretty.

"You should do it soon," Niall said. "Because if you don't do it, someone else will. Like, maybe Louis or Zayn. I know that they like Kashine a lot too."

My breathing was really hard now. And Louis and Zayn?! How could this get any worse?

"Okay, I'll do it tonight," Harry said decisively. "Thanks, Niall, you're a good friend."

I raced away before I could hear the last of the conversation.

I rushed into the kitchen, and the other three boys looked up. I found that I could only look Liam fully in the eye. I wasn't sure if I could ever look at Louis or Zayn the same way again.

"So, who won?" Louis asked excitedly.

"L-Liam," I stammered, looking down. Dammit, my stutter's back.

"Alright!" Liam whooped. "Cough it up, boys!"

I heard the sound of rustling paper. I still refused to look up.

"Wait...." Zayn said haltingly. "Then that means--"

"Harry loves Kashine!" Louis shouted, making me flinch. "Oh, yes! I knew it!"

I turned around and went to my room without saying anything. I heard Louis ask, "Was it something I said?" I guess it's clear that I was upset.



I paced in my room and finally collapsed onto my bed. I was so dead that I couldn't even listen to music and/or dance. Now is time for me to explain:

I really liked the One Direction boys. Really, I did. But I only saw them as best friends. I didn't think I could ever love any of them, and it tore me apart to see that they didn't seem to feel the same way.

I felt like I was trapped in some fan-fiction, but the ending result wasn't all beautiful and wonderful as it usually is. This one would end with broken hearts and shed tears.

I wondered if Niall or Liam liked me. Probably not Liam, since he had Danielle (a/n: Liam and Danielle forever!), but I wasn't so sure about Niall. I thought I liked him for a while, but I finally decided to push those feelings away because it wasn't fair to him. My crush on Keith was different.

Oh gosh, Keith.... I think he's the main reason that was holding me back. Despite all those run-ins with him and Miley, I really did think I had a chance with him. Albeit a small one, but still a chance. I finally now had my voice to scream at Miley and talk to Keith, so that's a bonus.

But what about Harry? He's the one that made me tick. He was the one that helped me get my voice back, without either of us even knowing it. Maybe I was making a mistake. Maybe my heart was making a mistake. Harry deserved a chance. And if this was what he wanted.... I gulped nervously.

There was a knock on my door, and I stiffened. I checked the time on my phone: 8:30pm. I guess it was "tonight" for Harry. I forced myself to get up and answer it.

Harry grinned at me and came inside. I forced a smile and closed the door behind him. "Hello, Kashine," he chirped.

"Hello," I replied. "What brings you here?"

"Oh, nothing much," he said nonchalantly, and I tried not to snort. "Nothing much"? If you ask me, this was a huge bucket of crap! I'm not meaning that in the way that you think.

"Um, Kashine," Harry said hesitantly. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," I squeaked. He took a deep breath. "Well, we've known each other for a while--" he started to say but I cut him off. "Harry, I know where you're going with this," my mouth said unwillingly.

"You do?" he exclaimed, shooting his eyes up from the ground to look at me. Since when was Harry Styles nervous around a girl, and ME being that girl of all people?

"I heard your conversation with Niall," I said apologetically. Harry's face flushed red. "Not because I wanted to eavesdrop," I said quickly. "The other boys had placed a bet on what you were talking about, and I was elected to go find out."

"Oh...." he said slowly, and his voice faltered. "So, will you?" he asked hopefully. "Will you go out with me?"

I really didn't want to say the word that was on my mind. I didn't want to break his heart. But I had to.

"I'm sorry, Harry," I whispered. "But no."

His face fell, and his beautiful green eyes shattered. "Wh-why not?" he asked.

Now it was my turn to look at the ground. "I just don't like you in that way," I murmured. "I look at all of you like you're my best friends, and nothing more. I'm really, really sorry." Harry didn't say anything for a moment.

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and my head shot up. He was looking at me sadly. "May I?" he asked. I wasn't sure what he was going to do, but I nodded anyway. He hugged me. I melted into him, and I hugged him back. And while all this was true, my feelings for him didn't change.

"I understand," he said into my hair. "I don't want to force you into something you don't want to do."

I was so shocked by what I was hearing I wasn't sure how to respond for a while. "Wait," I finally managed. "You're not mad? You're not mad at me?!"

He chuckled. "No, I'm not," he said. "Definitely a bit sad, but not mad. It's not your fault."

"Oh, thank you, Harry!" I cried and hugged him tighter. "But we can still be friends, right?"

"Of course!" he laughed. I pulled back long enough to smile at him. "Thanks, Harry," I repeated.

"No, thank you," he said and squeezed my hand. I frowned slightly. What did he mean by that? But he was gone before I could ask him.

I sat down on my bed, considerably more cheerful then I had been ten minutes before. I smiled at the ground.

"It ain't hard to tell!" I sang. "You don't know, ohoh! You don't know you're beautiful!" I'd been wanting to do that for a while.

I was glad that went well. The conversation, not the singing.