Is It Hate OR Love? Jodha Akbar

Chapter 13 : Part 1

Chapter 13

"YA KHUDA! An intense painful screech rumbled out deep down of his throat. "Oh, No, God! What have I done? I have slandered and humiliated my own love." he mumbled in an utterly broke down tone.

Abdul freezes seeing Jalal's condition. As soon as Jalal realized his unforgivable sin, wrongdoing, and cruelty, it looked like someone pulled the life out of him. He had never seen him this wrecked and shattered; he was not only shaken by his condition, but the word 'LOVE' from his mouth was shocking and unbelievable for him. Abdul knew that slowly he began to like Jodha begum, but he never thought he could love someone. He hated the word love. Abdul could see Jalal had utterly lost his mind in a tremor and unintentionally confessed his love in regret as much as he wanted to be there for Jalal and comfort him. He knew Jalal would never like to share his intense pain with anyone. There was nothing he could do to relieve his pain. He wanted to mention Queen Jodha's condition in Amer. Still, seeing his vulnerable condition, he decided it was not the right time to talk about it, so he left his chamber silently and instructed all guards and some administrator not to disturb him at any cost.

Jalal spent the entire rest of the day and a night in remorse. His heart curled up with extreme ache; he was awfully ashamed of himself, thinking about what he had done. Again, emptiness captured his soul. His intense guilt took away all of his energy; he sat on the divan (sofa) like a lifeless body. His repentance was eating him up at a quick pace. His own words hunted him with a cruel laugh. The word 'whore' echoed in his mind repeatedly. Her last gaze with hatred killed him inside. His vicious memories evoked, to make it worse, how he slapped her in front of everyone. How he dragged her by pulling her hair; how he kicked her mercilessly; he looked at his palm pointedly for a few seconds and hit both his fist on the wall brutally until it began to bleed. He loudly shouted and pulled his hair to release the suffocating pain, but there was nothing that could give him peace. The sad day turned into a gloomy night, but he did not turn on the candle lights in his chamber; he hid in darkness.

Guards were worried outside since the entire day Shahenshah didn't order food or not even water. As per Abdul's instruction, no one dared to get inside, but after hearing his violent, painful, angry yell, one of the guards ran into his chamber. Still, when he saw the devil condition of his chamber and his angry growl, without saying a single word, he swiftly turned back and walked out.

He sat in a corner in the dark chamber, thinking about what he had done in his anger. The entire night Jodha's last words echoed in his ears. 'You were right; you can never trust anyone.' He remembered her eyes, which had deep pain and love for him, which he could sense but didn't believe. His dead heart, which was newly born a few days ago, suddenly overwhelmed with many emotions and craved for her nearness and forgiveness. Now his heart intensely desired for her love.

One whole day and a night passed without any food or slept in intense repenting and suffocation. Finally, in the morning, he gathered all his strength and called Mariam Makhani Hamida banoo and Queen Rukaiya to his chamber. Many years later, he decided to call his own mother instead of his Badi Ammi, Maham Anga. His heart very well recognized that he needed his mother's shoulder to cry today. He was so glad that his mother at least stood by Jodha. Suddenly his locked heart doors unlocked for his mother.

Queen Rukaiya and Mother Hamida arrived at his chamber. It was almost afternoon and time for Diwan E Khaas. Jalal was sitting on the couch without taking a shower. None of the maids dares to put their feet in his chamber. Their eyes widen in shock when they saw the condition of his chamber, but when their eyes laid on Jalal. It gave a heavy shock wave seeing his eyes and face was swollen and puffy; his hand was filled with dry blood. His cheeks and nose turned red. He looked depressed and gloomy just in a day. Overall, it looked like he aged in a single day. When he heard a walking sound, he slowly looked at both of them with pleading guilty, as if he had committed the unforgivable crime. His constrained tears were almost ready to spill, but soon he gulped his tears and was left with moist eyes. Just in a day, he looked so pale that they felt he would die any minute. His face looked vulnerable and helpless, and his eyes were dreadful; it was aching for both of them to see him in this state.