Casualty of Love: Turning Tables

You Better Not Get Too Attached

I walked into breakfast the next morning and my face was slightly swollen from all the crying I'd done the night before. I figured I was all cried out though and it was probably time to tell Draco. I had no idea how I was going to do it... I've never had to give a situation like this a thought.

This year, Elijah, Draco, and I had taken to sitting at the end of the Slytherin table. I hardly thought I would be welcome at the Gryffindor table anymore. Someone had even told me that I should move all of my stuff to the Slytherin dorm, although I cleaned up the language a bit.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Draco asked after taking in the sight of my face.

"Nothing...," I mumbled, sitting down.

"I may not be Nehemiah but I can sure as hell tell when you've been crying all night! Was it one of those Gryffindor creeps again? Just give me a name and I'll make them stop," Elijah said, and I was sure he meant it based on the expression he was wearing.

"No, I'm fine. I don't know what you guys are talking about. I've just been a little sick lately."

"Go see Madam Pomfrey," Draco told me.

"Already did," I said, not giving anything away. I turned my attention to the breakfast on the table but the sight of everything made me want to convulse.

"What did she say?" Elijah said before Draco even could.

"You know, the usual. Hey, Draco, do you think I could talk to you after breakfast?" 

"Sure...," he said uncertainly. "You know what, I'm already done. Are you finished?" he asked, clearly not noticing that I hadn't actually eaten anything.

"Yes! See you later, Elijah," I said before getting up and walking out of the great hall with Draco.

We walked in silence at first and I led him down to our old classroom. If it were anybody else strolling the corridors, they would have been in trouble, what with the Death Eaters patrolling, but when we walked by, they made a comment but didn't reprimand us. It made me a little sick inside to be accepted by the Death Eaters but it sure made things easier.

We walked into the room and I immediately sat down on by the wall opposite of the door so that our voices had to travel farther and would be fainter in case someone were to walk by. "So, what did you need to talk to me about?" Draco asked, sitting down beside me.

"I don't exactly...know how to say it...," I admitted, studying my hands, which were in my lap. I couldn't look at him.

"You're not thinking of breaking up with me, are you? You can't break an unbreakable vow! You'll die--"

"No, Draco, you're not even close. Do you remember that night when we made the vow?"

"Of course...but what has that got to do--"

"Right before it happened, your mother handed me a potion and told me to drink it...and then right after we made the vow, your mother told you specifically to consumate the marriage. Doesn't that seem a little strange to you?"

"Well, obviously it was strange but I still don't understand."

I sighed. I was hoping he would understand without me having to say it... "I've been feeling sick these past few days so I went to Madam Pomfrey's and told her. She went on and on about how sorry she was and that someone told her to watch out for this and then she gave me a test and told me that...well, she told me that I'm eight weeks pregnant," I managed to say, closing my eyes tightly afterwards. 

I didn't want to see his reaction. I didn't want to watch him while he realized that his world was falling apart -- that our lives were over. He didn't say anything for awhile. The room was completely silent and I thought about explaining the rest to him but, before I could, I felt his arms wrap around me. 

"I'm sorry that this happened... This is all my fault. I should have never dragged you into this... It's okay if you hate me..."

I pulled away from him and looked him in the eye. "Draco, I could never hate you. Don't be ridiculous. This is just a bump, literally, in the road. But, I haven't told you the worst part. I didn't just get pregnant by accident. That potion ensured it would happen. This is their way of tying me to them indefinitely. And...and You-Know-Who wants us to raise the baby according to his wishes. He wants to make like, a super Death Eater or something."

Draco shook his head. "Well, we can't let that happen," he whispered.

"I was hoping you'd say that. Look, can we keep this quiet? I don't know what would happen if Elijah found out. He'd go crazy..."

"He'd probably beat the shit out of me and, to be honest, I probably deserve it."

"No, don't say that. This isn't our fault...but it is our problem. It's our responsiblity to protect whoever it is growing inside me right now."

"You're right, although that is really weird to hear. Who would have thought that we'd end up here with everything so messed up?"

"At least we aren't the only ones... The entire wizarding world is probably saying the same thing..."

After that, we sat in silence for a few more minutes before deciding we should get back. But, while walking down the corridors to the Slytherin common room, which is where I spent most of my time, we ran into one of the last people I expected to be at Hogwarts.

"Allie! I was hoping to run into you while I was here. How are you feeling?" Ben asked as he walked up to me. His usual powerful demeanor was radiating off of him in waves.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Once I heard the news, I had to come and set some boundaries and rules for the Carrow infants," he said, rolling his eyes. "And I also wanted to tell you two congradulations. Your parents are very happy," he said to Draco. "And yours will come around. I'm working on them. I'm so happy to become a great-grandfather, especially while I'm still young! Good luck to you both. I have to go see Nehemiah before I leave." And with that, he walked away.

The next day I had Dark Arts, which always made me horribly nervous -- not just for my friends anymore, but also for myself...it wasn't just me anymore. Amycus Carrow was a mentally ill sociopath on a power kick which made him dangerous.

Usually I kept my head down in the class, instead of standing up like some of the old DA members had been doing. I didn't want anyone to question my loyalties and blow my cover when I still had so much to tell the Order. 

But today, Amycus was making it literally impossible to stay out of the spotlight. Each time he walked by me, he ran his finger from the top of my cheekbone to the bottom of my jaw and each time I flinched away from his cold touch. 

I was counting down the minutes until I would be able to leave the classroom when Amycus reached over and made the trail down my face again and I flinched away. "What? You don't like it when I touch you? You sure didn't mind when the little Malfoy boy was touching you. Yeah, that's right, your precious little grandfather," he said bitterly, "came to my sister and I last night and informed us of your...situation." He winked at me.

"You see, he said we can't punish you because you're knocked up but that gave me a different idea." I could feel the hot, angry tears streaming down my face and I fixed my eyes on the book in front of me. Now everyone knew. "From what I've heard, you have friends in your house... At least, you used to, before you became one of us. So, if you act out, I'll punish...you," he said, pointing to Neville Longbottom. "Only it'll be much worse for him. Three times worse, if I had to put a number on it. So you better sit down and shut up for the rest of the year, or at least until you pop that special child out. Honestly, I don't know what anyone would want with a Malfoy baby. All I know is, you better not get too attached. You'll be giving up that baby before it can even cry. Oh, looks like class is over. Have fun, Allie. I wish I could see how your little Gryffindor friends treat you now."

I pushed my chair out and ran out of the classroom. I didn't want to face anyone. This was one of those moments when I wished I could be invisible. I haven't felt that way in a long time... I remember that I used to feel that way often when I went to Lumins, although I was probably pretty invisible already... Now, the entire school knew who I was and hated me with their entire beings.

The only thing I could think of, to get some time by myself and wallow in my own embarrasment and anger, was the Room of Requirement. So, that's where I went.