My Brother's Best Friend (Ashton Irwin/5sos)

Chapter 11

*Paisyn's POV*

"I love you Hailey." Ashton whispered into my ear as I was drifting off to sleep. I felt his body tense as I replied. "Hailey? What the fuck!" I turned towards Ashton, breaking away from his grip. "Paisyn! Just let me explain! I'm so sorry I didn't mean it! I love you!" Ashton pleaded. "No! Obviously you still love Hailey! Not me!" I yelled. "Let me explain?!" I interrupted, throwing Ash's shirt at his chest. "No. Get the fuck out of my house and don't come back." "But.." "Go."

Tears filled Ashton's eyes as he gathered his clothes and left, the front door slamming on his way out.

Hailey Matthews.

Aka: Ashton's slutty ex girlfriend.

I pulled on one of my own t-shirts, noticing the promise ring I had received earlier in the evening. Slamming the lid of the box closed, putting the ring out of sight, I turned off the light and got back in bed, fighting the tears that threatened to overflow. "I loved you Ashton." I whispered to myself, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.



The next morning, the chills from the freezing bedroom awoke me. My sheets soaked in tears, and my hair a mess. Rolling out of bed, I trudged over to the mirror, unpleased with what I saw. My brown hair matted and tangled, apparent bags beneath my eyes. My usually bright and shiny green eyes, turned a dull and boring grey. I ran a brush through my hair, plugging in the straightening iron.

Once I was settled into my Jack Wills hoodie and sweat pants, with converse, I sat down at the vanity. "Shit." I cursed, admiring the spot on my finger that had turned red from the burn my straightener had delivered. "Fuck it." Setting the straightener down and grabbing a pony tail, I gave up on straightening my hair and threw it into a messy bun.

I tried to cover the bags that hung from my eyes, only to no avail. All of the foundation and cover-up in the world couldn't have covered them.

After everything was put away, I grabbed my book bag from my closet and headed down the street towards the school. My head faced the ground as I watched my feet splash into the puddles of water from last nights rain. Soon, a second pair of feet joined mine, moving in perfect unison. I assumed it was Ashton, considering that he always knew when I left my house and when to pick me up.

"What the fuck do you want? I thought I've already told you to leave me the hell alone?" I spat, keeping my eyes on the ground in front of me. "I'm sorry Paisyn, I miss you." My head jerked from the ground, staring at the person who had just spoken to me. "PETER!!" I screamed, jumping into his arms and wrapping my legs around his waist, hugging him for dear life. Forgetting all about our past, like everything was new. "Hey Paisyn." Peter giggled, spinning the two of us around. "I'm sorry Peter. I really am." I wasn't in the mood for any more arguments, and I could really use someone to talk too now that Ashton was out of the picture.

"I've missed you so much you have no idea!" Peter let me down, taking my bag and continuing our walk. "Good." My head turned towards the ground once more. "Paisyn, why are you walking? Where's Ashton?" Peter finally spoke again. "Um.." I started, not knowing how exactly to tell him. "He's probably on his way to school now. We're not exactly speaking right now. As of last night." I scratched the back of my head, seeing as this was awkward talking about the subject of Ashton. "Really? What happened?" Peter looked curious as he said the words. "I don't really want to talk about it." The subject was still sore. "It's alright, I understand."

Whispers were being spread around as Peter and I entered the courtyard, spotting Ashton over by his old friends now that I was gone. His beanie was perched ever so perfectly on top of his brown hair. He had a sad look across his face as I passed, the sorrow was clear in his expression.

Don't let him get to you. You're stronger than he is.

I told myself as my shoulder grazed his arm. "Hey Caitlyn! Hey Brooke!" I tried to seem happy as I greeted my friends I hadn't seen in almost forever. "Hey Paisyn!" The spoke in unison. "Where's Ashton?" Brooke piped in, Peter answering for me. "She doesn't want to talk about it, still a sore subject." Both of them nodded, as if they understood the situation.

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My backpack hung low on my back, as I rode piggy back on Peter, arms locked around his neck. "Ashton said he loved Hailey." I finally admitted it to Peter, he froze. "He did what?" "Instead of I love you Paisyn.. He said I love you Hailey. That's why we're not speaking right now."

I spilled all of the events from the previous night, as Peter listened carefully. With every word his face grew more and more stiff and mad. "Peter? Are you okay?" I asked, hopping down from his back as we reached my driveway. "Yea, I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow." Was all Peter managed to say before turning and leaving for his own house. Wow.

I opened the front door, revealing my mom studying a cook book and covered in floor. "Mom! You're home!" I yelled, dropping my bag and running into her arms for a long and floury hug. "I missed you." I mumbled into her apron. "I missed you more. How are you feeling?" She asked, letting me go. "Fine." I replied. I sat down on a barstool. "Mom guess what!" She looked taken aback at how happy and excited I was. "What sweetie?" "Me and Peter are friends again!" A smile painted across my mom's face as she came around to hug me. "Oh my gosh honey I'm so happy for you!" I laughed at her excitement. "Thanks mom." I got up from my place on the barstool, grabbing my bag and heading upstairs.

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"Paisyn!" Someone hissed from outside of my window, tossing something up to hit it. "Paisyn!" They called again. "Ugh." I rolled out of my bed, slipping on my pink robe over my tank and shorts, walking to the window. I lifted the window and sat on the edge, looking down at the brown haired boy who I'd thought I'd loved. "What do you want Ashton? I thought I told you not to come back?" I hissed, trying to keep my composure. "I know, but I can't Paisyn. I love you okay? What I said was stupid. I didn't mean it, Paisyn you're the only one I love! Please. Give me another chance?" The tears fell from my eyes as I got down from the windowsill, closing it. "Bye Ashton."

I took one last look, tears flowing freely as I looked down at Ashton, crying also, with a pleading look of regret and sorrow on his face. My robe dropped to the floor and I climbed back into bed, wiping my tears with the comforter. "I miss you Ashton." It took everything in me at that moment to turn away and not take him back. No matter how much I missed him and wanted him all to myself again. I got up from the bed and went into the bathroom to wash my face. My hair was tied into a messy bun, while I cleansed my face. Something caught my eye as I was closing the cabinet before me.

My razor.

I grabbed it, holding it firmly against my wrist. Images of Ashton tonight, and while we were dating, appeared in my mind. So happy, in love, the way things used to be. Dropping the razor I grabbed my phone sitting nearby on the counter, hitting speed dial 7. I sank to the ground against the wall, sobbing into the phone.

Phone Call:

A: Hello? Paisyn is everything okay? What's wrong?

P: A-Ash I-I need you. Help me, p-please.

A: Of course baby! What's wrong?

P: I miss you. I miss you Ashton. I need you right now more than ever.

A: I miss you too Paisyn, I'm on my way right now okay? Just stay tight I'll be there in a minute.

P: Ashton?

A: yea?

P: I love you.

A: I love you too baby. I'm on my way.

P: O-okay

*End*

I sat sobbing, clutching my knees close to my chest until Ashton arrived. "Paisyn," Ashton gasped, coming to my side to comfort me. He hugged me close, my head resting on his shoulder. His strong arms wrapped around my shoulders and he laid his own head on mine. "Shh, baby it's okay."

Ashton's grip loosened as he noticed the razor laying on the floor. He picked it up, staring at it in complete shame. "Paise? Did you try to cut yourself?" Ashton instantly looked sad, sad for me, sad for him, everything. I nodded, making more tears erupt from my eyes. "Baby," He dropped the razor, regaining his grip around me. He rocked me back to sleep, whispering comforting thoughts into my ears as I sobbed into his shirt.