My Brother's Best Friend (Ashton Irwin/5sos)

Chapter 22

*Paisyn's POV*

My mind raced with all of my memories with Peter. I felt as if my mind was off in a parallel universe. A small whimper emerged from Ashton's lips, his head in my lap as he slept. Cupping his face with my hands, I rubbed the dry tear stains from his cheeks. The whole situation still hasn't sunken in. My bestfriend is dead.

Dead.

What makes it worse? I never got to explain, never got to talk to him or work it out. He just up and left. I gently moved from under Ashton, creeping down the hall and into his bedroom. My shirt was soon over my head, laying in a pool at my feet along with my shorts as I pulled on one of Ashton's. The hem reached just below the middle of my thighs. My body's on auto-pilot, my muscles taking over while my mind was somewhere else.

Somewhere with Peter.

Coming back into the living room, I placed Ashton's head back into my lap, careful not to wake him. Distractions are my bestfriends at the moment, I need to keep my mind off of Peter, at least for now. Grabbing the remote from the small table to my right I flicked on the TV, running my hands through Ashton's curls while deciding what to watch. Finally settling on a cartoon I'd never heard of I tried to keep my mind from wandering.

"Babe, what are you still doing awake?" Ashton moaned from beneath me, his voice raspy.

"Can't sleep." I tell him blankly.

He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before standing. He held his hand out in my direction, helping me to my feet. "Come to bed baby." He groans, kissing my forehead and switching the television off. I nod, following suit. We both climbed under the covers, Ashton's strong arms around me as I nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck, resting a hand on his toned chest. My eyes were heavy, hard to keep open. Finally obliging I let them shut.

"I love you Paisyn." Ashton whispers, kissing my forehead and tightening his grip around me. Too tired to answer I pretended to be asleep, moving closer to him as a smile found its way to my lips.

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Goosebumps cover my arms as my eyes flicked open. The room was freezing cold, Ashton's mouth slightly opened as he snored softly. Pushing his hair for his forehead a planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Baby." He groans, his eyes still closed.

"Morning." I say sweetly, remembering the state he was in the night before.

"Are you okay?"

He shook his head, understanding what I was talking about. Ashton finally opened his eyes, letting a smile take over his beautiful features.

"Are you hungry babe?" He asks, rolling out of bed and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Starving." I answer, running my small hand over my stomach.

"How about we go out for breakfast? Instead of being cooped up in here?" I nod as my stomach growls loudly, causing both Ashton and I to erupt with laughter.

I dug through my drawers, attempting to find something comfortable to wear. I threw on some sweatpants and a hoodie, tying my hair into a messy bun. Brushing my teeth quickly, I trudged into the kitchen. Ashton stood at the sink, his back to me as I wrapped my arms around his waist, startling him. He turns to face me, connecting our lips while his hands rest on my hips. He lifts me up onto the counter, standing between my legs as I wrap my arms around his neck.

"I love you babe."

"I love you too Ash. Do me a favor please?" I smiled.

"Sure babe, what is it?" He looks confused, almost scared as to what I'm going to say next.

"Wear your glasses? I miss them. You just look so sexy when you wear them babe." Taking my lower lip between my teeth I look up to him, batting my eyelashes.

"Of course." He places a kiss on my nose, leaving the room and returning with the black framed glasses perched on his nose.

"Much better." I tease, crashing our lips together, wasting no time before shoving my tongue into his mouth.

A few minutes, and a make-out session later, we finally left the house. His free hand was intertwined with mine as we drove down the freeway in search for an iHop. We passed the funeral home, making the tears from yesterday threaten to spill down my cheeks. Ashton rubs his thumb in circles over my hand, bringing it to his lips in a soft kiss.

"You okay?" He asks, noticing the tears that betrayed me, streaming down my face. He reaches over, wiping the tears away.

"Yes." I lie to myself.

I'm not okay. I haven't been okay since those words escaped your mouth. Those words that changed my life. My best friend is gone of course I'm not okay. My heart is shattered into a million pieces and I don't know how to put it back together. Everything that we'd been through is gone, because of me. It's my fault. Peter wouldn't have done what he did if it wasn't for me. If it wasn't for me being a jackass and everything else I could be called. I was the stupid one. The stupid one who costed her best friend his life.

We pull into iHop as I realize I had zoned out, my thoughts consuming me. Stepping out of the car reality hits me even worse as I see Caitlyn across the parking lot. I grab Ashton's wrist, making him walk faster.

"What are you doing?" He asks, amused.

"Caitlyn." I point across the parking lot to the girl sitting on her car talking to some guy.

"I thought you two were friends?" He questions as a breeze of cold air pushes past me once we enter the building.

"We are, I'm just not in the mood to talk to anyone yet."

We order our food, the short red head taking our order obviously thought she had better things to do than come to work. Her fake smile aggravates me. I find a table, sitting down as Ashton brings back the food. I immediately dig into the towering stack of pancakes in front of me, earning a giggle from Ashton.

"Hungry?" He asks as an old man gives me an odd look from across the room.

"Yes!" I answer enthusiastically, the thoughts leaving my mind momentarily before returning.

I scarfed down the rest of the pancakes, stealing a few of Ashton's eggs as he barely ate.

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We returned back at Ashton's about an hour later, after being stuck in traffic for almost 30 minutes. Doing the usual, we sat around, surfing the television for something to watch. My phone lay beside me, vibrating as I picked it up.

{Phone Conversation}

Peter's Mom: Hello, Paisyn?

Paisyn: Oh.. Hey.. Hello

Peter's Mom: Honey I was just calling to inform you of the funeral arrangements. I know you and Peter had your argument but I know he would want you there.

Paisyn: Me too, thank you so much. I'm sorry for everything.

Peter's Mom: There's no need to apologize sweetie, we're all sorry. The funeral is going to be Monday at 10:30 am, I really hope to see you there. You can bring Ashton, I was going to invite him if I had his phone number.

Paisyn: I'll be there. Thank you so much.

Peter's Mom: You are welcome honey, we all love you okay? Don't forget it.

Paisyn: I know, I love you too.

{End Of Conversation}

"Who was that?" Ashton questions once I hang up the phone.

"Peter's mother. The funeral is Monday." I say emotionless. All of my emotions have been drained during the last few days.

Ashton pulls me into his lap as I rest my head on his shoulder. I place a kiss on his jaw, making him shudder.

"I love you Paisyn."

"I love you too Ash."



•Sorry it's crappy•
~A.L.