"Shmii Says: Pendragon" | Pendragon

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Pendragon

Pendragon: Book One: The Merchant of Death by DJ MacHale

Silly Soldiers of Ravinia Version by Shmii

Journal #1: Denduron

Bobby: I hope you're listening, DJ.

DJ: I am!

Bobby: See, you're the only thing that's going to get this story off the ground.

I mean really, who would believe this crap? You know it didn't really happen, and I know it didn't really happen.

But here we are, with the manuscript of my “journal” in your hand. Journals imply that it's a documentation of what actually happened to somebody. But really, it didn't happen.

Anyways, on to what actually happened.

DJ: *rolls eyes* [to audience] He's always like this. Watch, it'll sound exactly the same as the book.

Courtney: *waves* Hey Bobby! Read for the game?

Bobby: Oh geeze... *drools*

Courtney: *kiss*

Press: Bobby! Save some for me!

Courtney: Ah! It's your pervy uncle! *flees*

Press: *laughs* Let's go. We've got work to do.

Bobby: But my girl...?

Press: She's the type to be there when you get back. Now let's go! *grabs*

Bike: Don't leave me all alone out here!

Press: You won't be alone for long. Now watch my muscles as I rip this blockade out of the way.

Cop: Uh... isn't this place, like, off limits or something?

Homeless Dude: This is my castle blah blah blah!

Press: *smiles* Hey Daney-by. Khaki makes you look fat.

Cop: *frowns* It does? Oh dear. Well we can't have that, now can we.

Homeless Dude: Oooh look, there's shiny lights on the train! *splat*

Press: Aw... you wasted a perfectly good body.

Cop: *sigh* Geeze, you're right. I should have thought of that before. Oh well. Watch me! I'm magic!

Saint Dane (formerly the cop): Ta-da!

Bobby: *faints*

SD: 'bout time.

Press: Hey, you can't have him.

SD: *pulls out guns* Wanna bet?

Press: Bobby! To the Flume!

Bobby: Wha—? Oh, right, Abracadabra.

Press: And watch out for the qiugs.

Bobby: Quigs?

Quig: *growls*

Bobby: What about the Third Rail? Oooh! The door! It's shiny!

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