Broken

Deceit

Clayton coming in like a storm and yells in rage, "Why did you not check if anyone was behind you? We won with help of yours, but you slaughtered so many. Why may I ask? Why so many?"

I look at him. "Is it not my job to protect those around me even if I put my life on the line? Is not my job to eradicate those stupid dogs from this miserable world? And, is it not my job to feed those who protect me as well."

"But you have to survive to protect those around you."

"I did exactly that. Here I am sitting in pain because I survived. I am living because those people out there, have become people I never want to lose. I never want to lose them and I will protect them. I will live to see every single one of them be able to live under you. I will be your warrior," I say with tears flooding in my eyes.

I continue, "Am I not alive because of what you did? You let me live. I decided to become a pawn and a knight to serve your purpose. Every single one of those Savages have shown me nothing but pain. They are all alone. Don't you tell me that you would rather let me live and see your own people turn into those damned hungry beasts? They have lost everything that would consider them human.

"I will not let that happen to the Nomads. If I were to die, be it so. If I were to hurt, be it so. If I were to break, be it so. Hear me now, I will not let anyone turn into those wolves because I did not do my job."

He looks at me with a loss of words. I hope he understands where I stand. I hope accepts where I stand. I hope he will realize that I will not move from this ideal. I look at him unwaveringly. He shakes his head and looks at his hands. He looks like is about to lose his mind. Will I be the cause, if he does?

"It is your choice. The Nomads need you no matter what is to happen. I understand what you are to be doing, but that does not mean I won't want to protect everyone within the Nomads. I understand, but please do not believe you are the only one I have had this speech with because you are blood related. I do not care for you as I do for the others. You are less than they are because all I see is underlying deceit within you."

A stone drops in my stomach. Why does he say that? Have I deceived him in any way? What does he mean? Is it because I am from Dohean? Is this the reason why he never lets me go where I please within this breaking building? I lay down and try to fall asleep. I want to fall asleep and stray away from this cruel world. I have not felt hunger but I have seen the causes. Will I ever become a beast who only strives for food? Is this all life is?