Broken

Another Failed Attempt

By each day, the child grows with in me. I feel sick. My body is not mine. I have a child growing within me. One that will not have a true father, a mother who does not love them, a family of strangers, and a world that shall be the death of it. The life of the poor the fetus will be an infancy of crying, a childhood of learning to survive, an adolescence of pain, fighting, death, and is not expected make it to adulthood.

I look at my hands, then I place my hands on to the growing stomach. The stomach has stretched slowly like someone slowly blowing into a balloon. Day by day it grows. The fetus, the next failed attempt of humans, is growing. I feel horrible. Is this what I am leaving? A child. Another doomed thing. Will it be successful? Will I be able to take care of the child with love? Will I even consider it mine?

The silence of my raging thoughts is interrupted by the door opening. I look up and see Evan. Evan smiles slightly and steps inside of the invisible fog filled room. A constant fog fills this room. The fog of hate and remorse for what has happened. I know he feels it, the suffocating feeling. It is that what this room has absorbed.

He studies me for a minutes and I nod my head. He slowly gets closer to me. He grabs one of my hands, as I move the other to the side. He looks into my soulless eyes. He side smiles a bit and I look away from the eyes that have watched me to make sure I was okay. I take my hand away from his and walk over to the corner of the room wear my simple bed of sheets and sit down. I look at him and nod once more.

He sits down and tilts his head a few degrees, "Tori Ana, are you okay? How is the baby? Do you need anything? We have to move again. Are you sure you will be able to make the trip?"

I look at him in the eyes, "I am fine and so is the creature inside of me. I shall get my things ready." He gets up and steps out of the room regrettably. I know he wants to help with the child.