Yes (Parks and Recreation Fanfic)

Part 7 - Leslie

Ben leaves after talking about the Park. I watch him slowly walk out of the office. I could see the confusion in his face when I acted like nothing was wrong. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I look back up at what I was typing. I stare at the screen and grind my teeth a little. I save my work and flip to a new tab. I open up my email and hesitantly make a new email out to Ben Wyatt.
Ben - When I met with you, I didn't want to mention in front of everyone how grateful I was. I was pretty worried that I would break down in tears. It's such a silly thing to worry about now that I think about it. Although I would've liked to sacrifice less while earning it, this candidacy means the world to me. I'll never be able to repay you. I just wanted to show my appreciation and let you know how much it means to have you as a friend in my life.
Leslie
I stare at the screen for a bit, then change the recipient from Ben to Ann and add a little note at the top.
Should I send this? Now that I'm going to be in the spotlight, I can't afford to send anything too risky.
I send it, then go back to work. My response comes in about 5 minutes later.
I hate this. Not the email, the situation. The email is good. But the situation is terrible. I would send this, but Leslie, be OK if he doesn't want to be friends.
-Ann
I copy my note and make a new email to send to Ben. I take a deep breath and click send. I go back to my work, holding back tears.
It's over.
Date of use of Truck: 6/08/2011
Sponsor of Truck: N/A
Owner of Truck: Chuck A. Morrison Company
Times of Use: 11:45-1dfuods;f
I realize suddenly that my head is pressed into my keyboard. I don't cry. I feel a lack of all emotion.
I've never felt worse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THREE WEEKS LATER

I spend half of my day typing up my speech announcing my candidacy. I look outside. Everyone is gone for some reason or another: Ron is still off the grid, in hiding. Andy and April are going up to one of the trailheads to observe some extremely aggressive raccoons. Jerry is with Donna doing park maintenance. Tom is still at his new job. I'm not sure if it's ever been this quiet during work hours.
I need to put a happier feeling into this speech. I struggle to find the words to make this sound energetic and fun without coming off as someone who doesn't care. Chris could help. He was always the happy ray of sunshine around here. But that would mean going to his office... get a grip Leslie. He's probably forgotten about you by now. In my heart I know that's not true. Ben's not one to easily forget something like this, but it's just easier to act like he's simpleminded and has already moved on.
I go down to Chris' office and find his desk empty. Great. Judging by the fact that his suit jacket is on the ground, I'm guessing he went running. Why does he try to stay so fit? He's in such good shape, it seems almost like it would be bad for him. I mean, some fat does some purpose; fighting disease, keeping-
"Leslie?"
I sigh a little, then turn around with a smile.
"Ben! Hi! Is Chris out?"
"Yup. His daily 10 miles."
"Ah. I just wanted his advice with something. My speech announcing that I'm running. I need some help finding the right words. Do you know when he'll be back?
"He just left, so maybe 40 minutes? But, hey. I've got some experience with these things. I could help!"
My mind is yelling at me to stop, but I want Ben in my life, at least as a friend. We haven't talked since I sent him that email thanking him a few weeks ago. He cut off his work line with the Parks Department. Only I know why. It might be nice to chat again. As friends. Nothing more.
"Sure! Um, I have quite a few things. Are you sure you have time?"
"Yeah. I just finished the last assignment Chris gave me. Plus, we haven't talked in awhile. It would be nice to catch up!"
"Yeah! Should we sit down?"
"Sure." I can already tell that this is going to be awkward.
We sit down at a table on the side of his room. His eyes have deep bags underneath them, but aside from that he looks his usual, attractive self. Dammit, Leslie! Not attractive! He's no longer yours!
"So read me what you have so far." He says, yawning after he says it.
"You OK? You seem tired."
"Its *yawn* nothing. I haven't been getting much sleep. I can't. I'm just laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking. Wait, sorry. Your speech. Right. Go on!"
I read him my speech and he doesn't yawn once. He smiles and applauds at the end.
"The only thing I would change is maybe spend a little less time talking about Ramset Park and maybe more about how much you care about Pawnee. I know you do. Let them see that."
"You're right! Thanks, Ben!" I say. He's right. "I also want to add a bit more enthusiasm. Where should I add that?"
"I think that you should just convey the enthusiasm in your voice. You already sound very happy with these words. Just make the audience feel that you're so excited to run this town."
"OK. Thank you so much for doing this Ben. Oh, do you know a cheap place to buy signs? The cheapest I can find is still wildly out of my price range."
"Then let me pay for them!"
"Ben, No! After all you've already done for me with getting the candidacy, I can't have you paying for stuff like this!"
"Leslie, I'm already paying for 10% of your campaign. How-"
"WHAT?!?" He's... what... how??
"Oh God...I... didn't want you to know."
"What... how... but... why?!"
"Part of the deal was that I would pay for 10% of your campaign expenses, and well... you know the other part... then they would give you back the candidacy."
"Ben... I...." I'm at a loss for words. What am I feeling? Sadness that my campaign managers weren't happy enough with us breaking up? Happiness that I have someone in my life who would do that for me? Worry because Ben isn't the richest man in the world? I mean, he's living with April and Andy.
"Are you OK, Leslie?"
I should just say the honest truth.
"I miss you so much."
He looks taken aback by my answer.
"Just to have someone in my life who cared about me so much that he would do... that."
We can't be together. We can't be together. A little voice chants in my head.
"Just, thank you so much."
"You're welcome." He glances back at the doorway quickly. "I wish we could still be together. I really do. It's just.."
"I know. " We sit in an awkward silence. .
"OK. Aside from the obvious, how is Ben Wyatt." I ask, breaking the silence.
"Aside from the fact that being single sucks?" He chuckles "Um... Chris has been keeping me busy. I'm sorry that I haven't worked in the Parks Department. It's just..."
"I know." I nod my head a little.
"So how's Leslie Knope?"
"Extremely busy. I'm announcing my candidacy on Friday at noon in Ramset Park. Do you want to come?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"I... was also going to talk to Chris about this... they want me to leave my job in 2 weeks to focus on my campaign."
"Oh. Of course. I'll talk to him about it when he gets back."
"Thanks, Ben. You're the best."
"Aw I wouldn't say that."
"I would. We should meet up sometime."
"That would be nice."
"Well, I should work on these notes you gave me. Bye, Ben."
"Bye, Leslie."